Monday, 11 October 2010

Pleasure Ureself: A Practical Guide to being Fat and Jellus

Part 1: Lets Talk about Jellusy

Probably if you are reading this you are probably already confident of your jellus skills. But, my fellow fat n jellus cowz, whilst this may give you something upon which to base your future training, in itself it is unlikely to be enough.

True unadulterated jellusy takes time and effort and a selfless dedication to the cause. Think back to all the times I’ve selflessly braved the Whora website in the name of the greater good; reflect on all those brain numbing reflections I’ve brought to your attention - are you getting the pikcture? Dedication is what you need. Again though a few positive thoughts can be a handy tool to keep you on the straight and narrow when a non jellus thought hits your mind:

- Our envy always lasts longer than the happiness of those we envy.  (Fran├žois Duc de La Rochefoucauld)
- Nothing sharpens sight like Envy (Thomas Fuller)
- It is well said that envy keeps no holidays (Francis Bacon)

I hope you are all feeling suitable inspired!


  1. Woohoooo! I'm sitting on the lounge feeling fattuh and jellusuh already! Can't wait for chapter 2!

  2. wait to you get to the part about wanting orlando all to yourself..

    i thought a few case studies might be in order too :D

  3. I do feel inspired. I wasn't sure if I was jellus enough, but now I think I'm getting there. You are an inspiration to all fat jellus h8ers.

  4. Focus on the positive thoughts GH - you can do this...

    just remember that envy keeps no holidays - i've reworked this into my own affirmation:

    i am jellus and therefore always online looking for ways to demonstrate my jellusy. I am confident and fat and jellusy flows through me

    I find it works best if you do your own individual interpretation...

  5. Aahh, now I feel better. I'm not alone.
    And for all who think that they are too fat:

    No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.
    George Bernard Shaw

    For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!
    Jay Leno

    I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money.
    Marlon Brando

    No fashion has ever been created expressly for the lean purse or for the fat woman: the dressmaker's ideal is the thin millionaires.
    Katherine Fullerton Gerould

    Outside every thin woman is a fat man trying to get in.
    Katherine Whitehorn

    There's a lot more to life than how fat or thin you are.
    Kirstie Alley

    Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.
    Jackie Gleason

    We feel it's unacceptable to be fat, when it has nothing to do with who the person actually is.
    Gwyneth Paltrow

    Ok, where are my pizza, my chips and my cola?

  6. thanks for that Sis! there are some excellent quotes out there to help us be comfortable with our fatness - its lovely actually - you have provided some inspirational thoughts to help us accept that we are fat, and i've hopefully provided some mantras to help keep us on that road :D