Wednesday, 10 November 2010

Home alone Mantis

With Orlando looking rather bemused and super svelte in Barcelona, (above from here) the Mantis has been left to her own devices again... Believe me, that is NEVER a good thing. Long experience of being a fat and jellus cow has taught me that left to her own devices, and without Orlando's sobering influence on her scheming, she's likely to come up with not so cunning plans rather swiftly..

Where to start?

Well for one her latest nekkid shoot was apparently in shot in Paris when she was there stomping down the catwalk like an underdressed turtle for Balenciaga - the problem I have with it is that the bump seems to be a completely different size. Maybe seeing as how she's so stunninge she has the equivalent of a dimmer switch attached to make it grow or shrink at her convenience?

Rumours seem to have resurfaced of Wedding mark II in australia - I REALLY hope this one is for real, I have lots of advice to offer and I still have the original wedding team ready to go

The final titbit out there this morning has made me laugh the most. I think we all know about the challenges the Mantis faces in stringing a sentence together well it seems she is unable to count too. The baby (in her bellie) is apparently going to gestate for anything between 7 and 12 months (depending on what you believe)... If its the latter at least it explains why she took so long to look preggers in the beginning....


  1. Hey! Calling her a turtle on the balenciaga catwalk is really the turtle. And I happen to like turtles. lol

    Let's face it, how many of us are surprised that she did a nekkid bump pic? I'd have gone into shock if she DIDN'T.

  2. sorry Bella...... it was the clothes that did in on that one - turtles dont really stomp do they...

    and yes she's missed out on the shock factor...

    "Panty Mantis in clothes on photo shoot" shock would be nearer the mark!

  3. Some of you have been kind enough to notice I haven't been around much lately. RL is rough lately but I wanted to say I am around and I am reading it all, even if I'm not up to getting in on the drama.
    But I just had to share a miracle today. Miranda Kerr made me laugh! That's right. I read this bit of news on twitter:
    "However, ORLANDO BLOOM's wife insists she's in no hurry to return to the day job."
    I'm in the fucking hospital (no, not me, my sweetie) and the thought of the money-grubbing fameho balls-in-her-purse, Entrapment Baby (in her belly), set-for-life Dingho actually admitting it? That's what you call comedy gold, right there. I laughed so loud, the nurse came in to see what was up...

  4. aw sighs...... I'm sorry to hear that - I hope everything looks more rosie really soon :D

    bahahahahha thats funny though - well they say that pregnancy can do strange things - and in her case its obviously occasional bouts of honesty....

  5. Apparently the German hotel people are glad she's gone:

  6. thanks for the link Thal - thats funny and not at all surprising considering her published diet.......

  7. I'd definitely be a raging bitch if I followed her diet. Of course, then I might have a chance to have a bloke like Orlandoe all to myself, but he seems high maintenance too!

  8. A wedding redux?? No no Orly, two wrongs do not make a right!!

  9. Sorry to hear about your RL troubles, Sighs. Hope things are getting better minute by minute.

    Maybe the Mantis is in no hurry to get back to work because there IS no work waiting to get back to... I find it strange when Doutzen still does VS stuff even now she's preggers but not the mantis, unless she's been dropped.

  10. thanks for your comments! they are hilarious. Btw, do you really think that the wedding dress really existed??? I think they got married -yes, she trapped him- with no dress at all. A woman who loooves show herself naked and share all her intimicy with the whole world... forget about posting a pic of the wedding? it is because a wedding is private... more than her own kid???
    I think that something stinks in here... what did it really happen in the Caribean that day???
    I would pay for knowing about it!

  11. I've been watching this blog for a while now. It's great, really amazing. Keep it up, Slapparr

  12. @ Anomers 1: who knows - I'm presuming she didnt get married in her all time favorite outfit... (ie nekkid)

    @anomers II: thanks :)