Thursday, 18 November 2010

Commiserations to the Panty Mantis

Dear Panty Mantis,

Can i offer you my condolences, I know you have Orlando all to yourself but still, it must be hard when news breaks globally about the marriage of someone you had once had on your "lyste offe riche menne thayte eye canne targette".

I imagine there is the pain of an opportunity missed; the knowledge that that opportunity has effortlessly circulated round the globe and the realisation that unlike yours, the husband looks overjoyed in the interview he gave, the wedding will be large and well attended by both families and the wedding dress is highly unlikely to be lost by American Airlines...

Dont worry panty mantis, one off the list doesnt mean there arent others out there for when Orlando finally free's his bollocks from your grasping clutches... If you'd like some help in identifying someone new from the list, please let me know...

and I'm sure you will join me in offering hearty congratulations to Wills and Kate!

Slapparr x

PS I know I'm fat n jellus but that doesnt preclude me from being excited about a royal wedding, in case you were wondering


  1. We probably should be congratulating Wills for dodging a bullet and commiserating with Whorely for copping one to the genital area.

    As a member of the Commonwealth, can I just say how excited I am and how happy I am for Wills and Kate? I'm much more excited about this Royal Wedding than I ever was about (former) Aussie Princess Mary's wedding to weedy little Fred.

    I hope the knocked up nekkid mantis is watching carefully. This is the way to do a stylish, meaningful and loving engagement and wedding (without even the merest hint of a baby bump in sight).

  2. Considered words Joders, Poor OB.....

    Re WIlls and Kate: Yep i'm really excited too - they seem to really be in to each other, they've taken their time getting to this point and she think she is a great consort-in-waiting!

    Re Nekkid Mantis: Word!

  3. I'm terribly excited about Kate and Wills! And I'm American! Of course this means I'll have to get up at the crack of dawn to watch the wedding, but who cares.

    I don't think Wills was ever in danger of dodging that particular bullet. I don't think dear old Queen Elizabeth would have given permission for him to marry outside his species.