Monday, 6 September 2010

Communication from the Panty Mantis....

First day back at work, I opened up my email and look what Ive received from our Panty Mantis. I thought it was worth sharing !

Deere Lusinder,
eye thoughte eye'd wryte yew fatties a linne to gloatte nowe eye've gotte Orlandoe alle to myselffe and yew havve lostte haw haw haw, eye bette yew ahre alle upsette ande cryinge - serves yew wryte! (shitte.... howe du yew gette ridde of this) to offere yew fatties an oleave branchee. It muste be obvisous bye nowe thayt eye've one, and thayt all yure crewl specu.... specu.... (fuk it) theoriyes are wronge.

Eye culd be nastee butte nowe eye've decidede that nowe eye'm the newe guru of motherhoowd, eye thoughte it would bee morre in keepinge if eye showed thayt eye understande yure tormente. Eye too nowe knowe what it is lyke to be fatte, so we havve somethinge in commone righte?

eye thinke yew shoulde make amends to mee bye gettinge mye book "treashure urselfe", truste mee, yew of alle people neede to reade it (plus eye've gotte 1000 copies to selle), ande of course seome kora stuffe too - eye've saide this before butte yew guys wante to supporte orlandoe righte?.... gette buyinge

yew do thayte and notte only canne we bee friends butte eye mighte lette yew change this site ova to somethinge bettar, yew knowe, somthinge nicee aboutte me and orlandoe....

no promisess thoughe...

If anyone would like the link to "treashure ureself" I'm happy to link you up!


  1. "If anyone would like the link to "treashure ureself" I'm happy to link you up!"
    NO no no, please!!!

  2. I don't know, maybe all of us fatties could chip in to buy it? We could pass it around and the last one to read it can have a book burning.

    Who's in? You can put me down for 75 cents.

  3. i'm in! 75 cents sounds worth it to me - bit like l'oreal......

  4. Deer Moronduuhhh

    Thanq ewe veri mutch faw yaw veri kynd offa. Eye muste onn thys uhkayshun deeklein yaw offa.

    Inn konclewshun eye saye PHUK EWE. Eye wil noe mohr sapought yore planz faw whirld domunashun than eye beeleave Whorely marryeed ewe faw luv.

    Wyth luv and lyte

    Yaw jiltud brydezmade


  5. Pee Esse

    Thee onlee phat thyng abowt ewe iz yore phat hed and yaw phat littul chipmunq cheekz. Oh and wee karnt fawget yore bigge phat EEGOE!