Wednesday, 15 September 2010

Apparently enough is enough!

Listen guys, I think we've been being a bit harsh on the Panty Mantis - I don't think she's used to people actually pointing out the definition of what "authentic" means, or laughing riotously at something she's worked SO hard on - she's getting a bit upset...

oye Lusinder
laste tyme eye wrotte to yew eye ext...... ext..... (fuk) gayve yew an oleave branche, eye showed yew thayt eye was willinge to makye peece. Ofv coursee yew hadde to buye "treashure ureself" ande the whole Kora ragne butte eye was willinge to givve yew somme tyme to du thate. Eye understande that qualtee costes and yew wille alle neede to save uppe.

Eye camee on hear to see howe youre blogge aboute mee was doinge and whate do eye finde??? Yew ahre alle stille talkinge aboute orlandoe, EYE'm the famuous onne nowe!!

yew ahre notte showinge "treashure ureself"anye resepkt whatte so eva. Howe DARE yew saye eye donte knowe whatte eym talkinge aboute. Eye amme the beste ande moste gawguss supamodell in the worlde evah, eye have orlandoe alle to myselfe, eye ame nowe alsoe an experte in mother hoode, in shorte there is nothinge i cante advsie yew onne (or wryte a booke aboute)

yews shoulde stoppe fightinge thisse and learne frome mye wisdom. mye booke is an "heirloom that will passed down for generations to come". Eye'm notte quite sure whate thayt means butte it doesse meane its goodde - BUYE it, its the onlee change yew fatties have lefte...

eye'm notte happie, when eye comme here againe eye expecte yew to havee sorted thisse out! yew ahre evene upsettinge the lyttle onne in mye bellie!

Hmmm do think this is some strange side effect of her pregnancy? Or perhaps some consequence of wearing her hair like its a doughnut attached to a melon..... Either way she doesn't seem to happy, though in fairness she does seem authentically angry to me so I suppose that will be of some relief for her.

Wanda, how is that collection doing?? I don't want her to literally explode in her condition!


  1. Strangely, there aren't any takers. I can't imagine why no one wants to chip in, maybe everyone just wants to avoid a fight when it comes time to pass it down to one of our children.

    I'm seriously considering printing out that picture. He looks so handsome and bewildered. Squee!

  2. really ? I'm sure thats why people are holding back on the collection - its going to be hard to organise a cross atlantic inheritance order..

    re the photo: if it wasnt so old I'd say it was his reaction to the concept of his "wife" writing a book....

  3. You guys are being all called out on you bitter and jealous rants. You all will never be as pretty or as successful as Miranda. Can any of your husbands measure up to Orlando, probably not. She's one lucky woman.

  4. @ Anomers You're obviously not a regular are you? If you have a skim through you'll find I keep saying "We are all Fat'n'Jellus and want Orlando all to ourselves with alarming consistency on here...

  5. Anonny - Do you even go here?

    [/Mean Girls Meme]

  6. Guten tag, Anonymous! Wie gehts ist ihnen?

    (I knew my college German would come in handy one day!)

  7. My college german is slightly ruder wanda

    "Entschuldigen, wie Komme ich am bestern zum sex shop bitte?"

    Perhaps OB could find a use for that one??

  8. Umm...Slappar? You don't pay that much attention to your stats, do you? Try to ignore how long I've been on this page, OK? It's been a long day, I need to focus on this lovely picture.