A translation of the truth?

Wow, the cat must really be among the pigeons in Mantis and Orli land....

Ted C (the one who had the happy task of reporting the first reports of the fight flight) has just made a serious damage control post. Obviously, the lovely photographs we have all enjoyed, and that were so demonstrative of natural tru luurve, haven't quite hit the mark....

I thought since I've got the day off, I'd have a go at giving my translation of it for you (remember this is just my view and humour....)

Ted Casablanca:

Orlando and Miranda: Passionate PDA, Uh-Oh

We've been dying for a fix of the world's most beautiful couple, since we were discouraged after Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr's recent not-so-mile-high-club plane interaction.
We can happily report that the turbulent plane ride was clearly an off day for the couple, as they were spotted at Mojo Coffee in NYC's West Village this weekend looking as close as evuh.

TRANS: FOLKS, YOU REMEMBER I REPORTED THEY WERE FIGHTING LAST WEEK, BUT SINCE THEN EVERYONE ON THE NET RIPPED THE SHIT OUT OF THEM SO I'VE NOW BEEN PULLED IN TO DO DAMAGE CONTROL, OTHERWISE THEY WON'T DO ANY MORE SET-UPS FOR US AND ORLANDO WILL GO DEAF FROM ALL THE SCREECHING

Orlando and his babe-a-licious Victoria's Secret model GF stopped by for some grub and were completely smitten with each other. "They are obviously infatuated," our source assured (and slightly shocked) us.

TRANS: WHEN I SAY "IT SLIGHTLY SHOCKED US" PLEASE TAKE THAT IN A SARCASTIC WAY, OUR "SOURCE" IS MK'S PR AGENT AND WHAT THE HECK ELSE IS SHE GOING TO SAY

Orlando did the ordering for the twosome—but he didn't have any cash when it came time to pay. Luckily, his ladylove helped him out with the green before she darted to the bathroom. Did the looker want to make it appear that the gentleman was being entirely, well, gentlemanly?

TRANS: OUR "SOURCE" WISHES TO IMPLY THAT SHE WORKS AND HE HASN'T HAD A MOVIE IN THE CINEMA IN YEARS ERGO ITS HER PAYING FOR HIM NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND.

Oh, and the tight-again twosome looked totally smokin'—especially Miranda. "She's so hot," our babe-witness reported. "They looked very clean and rich."

TRANS: THE "SOURCE" WISHES TO DISPEL ANY CRUEL RUMOURS THAT ORLANDO DOESN'T WASH, ONLY HAS ONE OUTFIT PER MONTH AND MIRANDA DRESSES LIKE A HOBO, AS SOME NASTY INTERNET SITES HAVE BEEN SAYING

Now that Orly and M are feelin' each other again, maybe their next plane flight will be a little more interesting, if you know what we mean…

TRANS: I'M GUESSING THAT THE NEXT "SOURCE" WILL BE PEDDLING THE MILE HIGH CLUB AGAIN WITH BACK UP FROM TWITTER

Come on, Orly, sell it all the way, 'kay?

TRANS: I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HAVING TO SELL THIS SHIT, ORLANDO - ITS YOUR PR EXCERCISE IN DAMAGE CONTROL... IT WOULDN'T HURT IF YOU WERE MORE CONVINCING...

I'm not sure if I were them I would of used Ted C for this, Ted is a brilliant and talented blogger - brilliant and talented for managing to convey his view within all the PR shite that gets flung around, and in my opinion here is no exception! (BTW I thought a photo of Orlando and the PM looking clean rich and happy might be appropriate for this post, so I chose the one above...)