Thursday, 22 July 2010

Our Private couple

Fresh back from a lovely interlude at the opera, I come back to find that I have been missing all the excitement here...

As mystic has pointed out, the Panty Mantis is due to make an announcement, and not just any announcement - a personal one... Its so lovely to see her being so private isn't it

I'm all eager anticipation over what this "personal Announcement" will be, so I thought I'd speculate from the following options:

a) She is finally going to formally admit she has Orlando's wedding tackle in a glass jar in her suitcase

b) That Orlando is gay and has been shagging Viggo all along

c) That she has had a personal epiphany and has finally come to terms with her resemblance to a Cabbage Patch Doll

d) That, following the lack lustre receipt of the engagement announcement and Ted's recent Business deal comment, she is now hoping that a pregnancy will capture the worlds interest and propel her and Orlando up to number one couple in Hollywood.

e) She's going to admit she's the worlds worst model

f) That she is actually using her facebook for the sole purpose of flogging over priced skin care to an unsuspecting public.

Tempting as the other options are, I'm going with D - all the others have a degree of self awareness and honesty I don't believe she is able to demonstrate !!

Either way, How exciting - What a shame I'm out again tonight and won't be able to watch the private live coverage of this event!!


  1. I am starting to think that it is not about a pregnancy. I mean who the hell makes an announcement about an announcement if its to say they are pregnant. Just say it now.

    The article that mention this also said "but wouldn’t be drawn on whether she is pregnant"...we will see.

  2. D! It's D! And possibly E and F as well.

  3. Holding a press conference to make private announcement.So private and low key of them, I actually think she found a cure for cancer and a solution for her gressy face.

  4. She is sooo playing with us, again.
    I bet she's laughing like mad in her little NYC cabin.

  5. Though I should be curious as to what she is to announce the one thing that keeps sticking to me is this whole statement about an announcement. Honestly who does that?!

  6. LOL! Is she playing 'how do you keep an idiot in suspense?' I haven't fallen for that one since my nephew was 6!

  7. Word is out they are already married ...

  8. I mean who the hell makes an announcement about an announcement

    Someone who's worried that if they don't announce the fact that they're making an announcement no one will be aware of (or care about) the announcement.

    Pene and Javier can just have their publicists put out a short statement that they've tied the knot, but this vapid slut is so important she needs her two bit publicist to give us 24 hours notice of the BIG news.

    David Jones has released her from her duties as fashion ambassador for the upcoming Spring / Summer launch so she can celebrate her nuptials and go on her honeymoon. If she was a true professional she'd do her contracted work for DJs then go on her honeymoon.

    But since she's pregnant she couldn't do that because she'd need to model swimwear and then we'd all see the baby bump.

    By the time she births the dingho pup early next year she'll have plenty of time to stop eating to get back to her pre baby weight for next years Spring / Summer collection.

    And since she's up the duff, Whorely had to marry her. He couldn't possibly let the pup be born out of wedlock after his own life experience. What a dumb arsehole.

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  10. Somewhere, Bonesworth is burning a Miranda voodoo doll, and Viggo is laughing.

    Oh well, hope they are happy.

  11. "and Viggo is laughing"

    I bet he is too!!

  12. I just don't things are always what they seem in celeb land - apart from the fact that even loved up marriages tend to have the life expectancy of a fly in hollywood (ie this one is totally buggered), it doesn't seem to me to be beyond the realms of possibility that this is yet another elaborate move in the "OB stays relevant" campaign..

    Its a shame that he doesn't put this much effort into getting his movies released....

  13. Lol Next month she will announce she's pregnant for sure, see the pattern? The engagement announce didn't give her/them enough attention, so they had to do this.

    I think this might have all been planned from the point when they were in Cannes and she flashed that ring on the yacht and since she might be pregnant, they had to marry to make it look like the baby was conceived after they married...they are so smart! lol

    This is all really funny and honestly I think she and him are doing all this attention and famewhoring stuff to throw it up in the faces of those who don't kiss thier ass and ship the fuck out of them, talk about insecurities...I'm gonna sit back and see how long this lasts. lol

  14. Oh and let's see if they make the front page this time or even get a little side snippet on the front page of People, ha!

  15. By Monday no one will care that these two boring famewhores got married.

  16. @ducati- Monday? Thats being generous. I say tomorrow morning they will stop caring, if they haven't already.

  17. We're on sunday and already they are having to refresh the news with reactions from both camps LOL