Sunday, 4 July 2010

Finally, the Mantis Responds!

Well would you believe it, I checked my email this morning and look what had come in :

deare lusinder,
mye newe agente haz arsked mee to come backe to yew aboute mye bridezmaydes. Of couse eye wasnzt goinge to lette aniy of yew fat ugglee cowz neare my weddinge but Aileeen thynks thate it mighte save Orlandoes demo, um.... demo oh fuk it peoplee lyking orlandoe.

yew can telle wanda that she canne be won off mye bridezmaydes, and yew can selcte anover fatty to paiyre up with herr. I heare yew, joderz and those blogsowrth bytches are alll fat and jellus, so maybee yew coulde have a comptetion or somthinge.

One thinge though, I will have orlandoe guarded at alle tymes (I cante riske him runninge awaye with Viggo againe) and thayte meens that yew bytches cant trye to adbduct hime either. Eye've read "Operation Abduct Whorley" and yew arent' pulling thayte shyte on mee...

Ohe and yew canne starte organising mye hen do if yew lyke. eye'll sende yew the Kora catalgogue. EYe cante tell yew whene the dayte is yet, Orlandoe managed to escappe and eye havente managed to gette him backke.

Remmeber! Donte trye anythinge funneye.

So there we have it, finally she's responded (though I see no sign of a date as yet - I'm sure the Dingho's trackers are on the case as we speak poor boy)

Do I have any other volunteers to pair up with wanda as a bridesmaid - I'd offer to do it, but Orlando is legendarily careful with money and I'm not sure he'd be that pleased to have to pick up the cost of the flight from the UK!


  1. Brilliant. Great thing to read before I go on vacation. I will not be on for the next 7 days for I am going on a cruise. But I do hope you keep up the great job if anything happens during the week.

    See ya laters! xoxo

  2. Have a great hol mystic :) don't worry - Im hoping i'll have the other bridesmaid sorted by the time you return :)

  3. Oh yay, I gets to be a bridesmaid! Woo to the hoo! Now where did I put that purple parasol and hoop skirt?

  4. Lucinda, loving the new layout.

    Wanda, you are going to be so beautiful. Can't wait for pics.

  5. PEGGY!!!!!!

    glad you like the new layout - bit more grown up now our man is (supposedly) a bit more grown up!!!

  6. I've been thinking. Since the PM won't be coming home for her white wedding, perhaps I can bring a little bit of home (other than the stunning checked flannelette shirt, tracky dacks and ugh boots she'll be wearing) to the ceremony by being the other bridesmaid? I'm sure she'd love another Aussie as an attendant.

    I think I also have the pastel pink lace dress with the 4 tiered skirt and hoop petticoat that I wore for my cousin's wedding in 1986. And I'm sure it'll still fit.... with the help of a few safety pins and some strategically placed velcro - I am fat and jellus after all!

    And Wanda and I have already proven how photogenic we are together :)

    Sew, whaddia saye, lucinder??

  7. , Joders!!! - i approved your comment but its not showing up for some reason

    of course you can be a bridesmaid, i'm sure you are right in thinking that the mantis will feel more at home with a fellow Aussie there - and if I may say - your choice of outfit sounds perfect too

    I'll let her know we have it sussed :D