Monday, 10 May 2010

A another translation .....

Ooooh I've been waiting to get my hands on this all day : no seriously I have - this is better than champagne, chocolates and strawberries all rolled into one..... Finally the translated version of the article from "Famous" is released.... ready?? (as usual what is actually meant is in bold :))



When Orlando Bloom took Miranda Kerr off on a whirlwind trip to Paris she knew she was in for a romantic getaway .

If by romantic getaway, they mean full on pap fest to make sure our fav. couple remain relevant, then fair enough... somehow i don't think they do .....

But the stunning Aussie model got more than she bargained for when her chivalrous beau of three years dropped to one knee in a Paris park - and proposed

Ahhhhh here we are Ground Hog day 157, isn't it great how you can see it coming... i refer you back to the draft proposal for how to manage such events..

The joyful moment - captured on film by a nearby photographer occured while Orlando and Miranda were taking in the local sights and stopped to sit on the edge of a fountain.

Paparazzi in attendence? oh surely not... what a coincidence.... maybe they will get further with it this time, they've never had the whole thing captured on camera before now...

As a relaxed and oblivious Miranda, 27, gazed at the pretty surroundings, a nervous looking Orlando , suddenly slipped down on one knee before whispering something to his his girlfriend.

Relaxed and oblivious? Try looking around for where the photographers were....

A surprised Miranda paused for a second, staring into the distance, seemingly stunned.

yes, it must be hard to spot paps you haven't actually used before...

As an apparently anxious Orlando, 33, appeared to softly repeat his request, she turned to him and smiled.

Ah i see, poor bastard had his bollocks in her nutcracker again - the fact he turned up was enough to see Baste and Sidi safe, but not enough to save his balls... and her smile must of mean't she'd spotted the photog!

Reveals one bystander, "I'm not sure what he said, but I heard her response pretty clearly. She said 'Yes! Yes!' - she was beaming!"

(what he actually said is "you are always going to own me, my bollocks and my dignity arent you?")

With the tension broken, a thrilled Orlando clasped Miranda's shoulders joyfully before pulling her into a hug

Orlando, when will you learn.... she may look puny and stick like, but she isn't named after a praying mantis for nothing, those things are dangerous

The excited pair then stood up and kissed passionately, embracing for almost 10 minutes before continuing their stroll.

I'm sure they did, after all the photos with the guy with his head in his hands, the photos of OB having a public breakdown etc etc are hardly condusive to this happy occasion, much better keep on going to see if you can improve the shoot.

Friends of the model say it's just the kind of simple intimate proposal down-to-earth Miranda would have wanted.

Yep, thats my definition of Down to earth: Orlando, the Panty Mantis and three assorted photographers and reporters.... how intimate....

"She's a laid back girl . Something simple and romantic is her style, rather than a big elaborate production," says a friend of the model.

(Joders there is no-where else to go with this but what you said, i defer to your superior skills!)

It goes on to say:

The proposal has been "a long time coming" says another source close to the loved up pair.

um this proposal has been announced so many times, not least by "famous" it hardly be described as a long time coming, more like its come many times....

"They've definitely had their share of ups and downs, but they're still committed to each other," the source continues.

Yes .... if committed is the same as a PR contract lol

Those ups and downs included rumours of a falling out after Miranda was caught leaving a nightclub with Kings of Leon bassist Jared Followill last September, and the release of her ex-boyfriend Adrian Camilleri from prison earlier this year.

Good times good times!

Pals say Orlando was keen to propose before he leaves for the lengthy press tour of his latest film, Sympathy for Delicious, and Miranda heads back to LA.

huh?? SFD is finally making out into Cinemas - hallelujah, we might actually have something work based to talk about in relation to Orlando....


  1. Unfortunately, of this mess, I believe the engagement part more than I believe the part about the lengthy press tour for SFD.
    And that makes me sad.

  2. Perfect translation to go with the perfect picture, the look on his face certainly says I am a man in love with a dingo.

  3. He proposed not only in front of a pap but when both are dressed as hobos? Really? Is the ring made of candy or something.

    Oh please, that bitch is anything but down to earth.

  4. Congratulations to the happy couple (again).

  5. lol wanda it can be a bit slow - BTW you had the wedding list right?? can you dust it off just in case!

    @Sighs - yes that is the tragedy, the idea of any of OB's movies getting into a cinema seems like a distant dream.....

  6. Ha! You nailed it!

    Re: the wedding list, who has the urn with the two men fornicating? One of us kept that in anticipation of the big day, right?

    Is the ring made of candy or something?

    Mystic, that made me laugh out loud! A candy ring from one of those vending machines kids like to play with is about her style!

  7. thanks Joders - so did you!!! one pile of bollocks - so many interpretations :D

    ah yes the etruscan vase...... I'm hoping someone has a copy of that baby..

    I think I'll get the happy couple a real blow up orca - OB's probably managed to puncture the original "Viggo" the Orca by now....

  8. Notice the sources always seem to be close to her and never him.

    Also the bystander must have been standing pretty close to have heard PM say yes. Unless she shouted it to the heavens.