Riddle me this?

Can someone answer this riddle for me please....... I'm all confused by the latest "arriving in NY" photos...

You remember the post from yesterday right? You know, the one with them arriving at LAX , our panty mantis signing photographs for the some poor bemused person waiting to get a plane - poor sod I bet he thought he was being robbed when she grabbed his ticket out of his hands. Anyway, the point is that she was being photographed, he was being photographed, everyone was happy and all was as it should be for a Hollywood heartthrob and his panty mantis.

Our happy couple (i'm presuming) then got on a flight over to new york (though sadly no reports of any fight flights this time, and certainly no screaming from either of them) obviously the panty mantis has chastised OB's balls enough to make them behave for more extended periods). They disembark and go through security etc etc but this is the bit I'm confused with..

They leave through separate exits???

Why? why would they do that - its a bit late to look pap shy guys, you are best friends with the paps and certain celeb bloggers plus you've had more pap set ups to prove the love than I've had hot dinners..

Trust me, its a bit late for the subtle approach - you are much better off keeping with the "Hitting everyone on the head with a sledgehammer" tactic!

Oh and Orlando, people are starting to get your name wrong when they are posting these set up pics.. perhaps it might be better if you did some on your own??? just a thought......

Your Bets ladies and gentlemen, please..

Ooh goodeee!!!! that favoured reporter of all things panty mantis has posted photos of Orlando and PM heading out on a flight from LA..

I was really excited when i saw these photos, no really I was..... It dawned on me that it was an excellent opportunity was presenting itself to open a book on whether they were going to continue the airbourne fight they started on the way back from New York. Now admittedly, that would make for a mammoth row all in all (a bit like that storm in "The Day after Tomorrow") but its a plane and I'm sure that the Panty Mantis has the capacity to be annoying on any flight.

So I'm offering 2:1 odds for another bust up on the plane and 4:1 Odds on whether Orlando will do the screeching this time??

Any Takers?

There is more wrong with this latest set of "caught out" photos of course, but I think we must revisit OB's outfit - Orlando puurlease ditch that green thing..... everytime I see you in that and those trousers, I keep thinking the clothes are walking you not the other way around!

Oh! what a surprise...

After a week notable for two things in virtual space for the lovely Orlando and our favourite panty mantis (the bust on the flight and the VS no-show) how surprising that they felt the need to get "caught" out together by the paparazzi living the life and proving the love!

i know - aren't you shocked! I know I am ...... and I can't help wondering how long that post flight fight went on for, to be honest they still look like they are in the throws of it here ..... still at least they've mastered the hand holding this time round !

Where is Orli (and other things....)

Either Orlando has developed the ability to transmit himself down phone lines or there is some confusion over where he is recently. Tweets have had him in DC, LA and Covent Garden (no suprises for guessing where i'd like him to be :D)

But to me what is more interesting is where he definitely wasn't on the 26th of March. He wasn't in LA....... with our favourite panty mantis at her panty mantis party... after all those pesky shouting rumours (and joders you completely have me with your account of THAT night, seriously if anyone wants to know what really happened then just click here ) you would of thought this was the perfect opportunity for some more rainbows and flowers.

Good on him, banging a VS Mantis is one thing, turning up to a VS party is quite another (unless you are looking for a mantis upgrade i suppose) this leads inevitably to the question; after weeks of speculation, has he actually freed his balls from captivity (and i don't mean those tight trousers he was in in NYC)? I guess we will have to wait and see...

While I leave you weighing up that weighty question... lets consider our Panty mantis for a moment....
Poor old Panty Mantis, not only is she the suspected subject of Blind items that say her relationship is a contract (no, really?? oh the shock of it all!) but she seems to have lost her mirror and all respect for herself.... I mean .... what is THIS>>>>

has she got too near the Tango man again (explaining the strange shade of orange), is her hair making a bid for freedom?; has she decided Bai Ling is the last word in fashion?

One things for sure, her long anticipated book "Treasure yourself" is going to be special....very special! Imagine what reading the nutritional advice of a girl who thinks having a sandwich is an event is going to do for the nation....

Maybe its all the post flight trauma......

The Cross and some skinny Birds...

Apparently "The Cross" is not as dead in the water as we all thought. According to this blog the unbelievable hot Olga has been talking more about her role.... It sounds as if the focus on in this movie is on the female role which is rather apt - the focus of OB's career recently has been on his female supposed other half so I imagine he has a lot of true life experience to call on.....

ah who cares - if its potentially more screen time with Orli and Olga - it gets my vote (though i too like how they are calling OB the "come-back-kid" - I'm presuming they know something I don't.... its been years since something of his has hit the Cinema's over her :()

Changing topic (and I know I said I wouldn't do this but I evidently have no self control).... I have to congratulate our Panty Mantis!

Look! she's actually managed to pose in a photo with models that are thinner than she is, how scary is that, seeing as the camera adds 4 pounds and PM usually looks like she's one grape away from collapse. arghhh someone buy these birds a burger or two....Bar Raf, among others, proves you can model underwear without looking like you are about to drop dead....

Bored, bored, BORED....

Wow, its a slow day - really close to easter and the time is a-dragging...so I'd thought Id fill in the time with an update to TSO....

Amusingly the news reports that are circulating about the happy couple all relate to Orlando's flight of pain with his panty mantis - I'm betting that the screeching she did at him on that flight when he asked her to move is nothing like as bad as the screeching that he's in receipt of now! She probably has abandoned her blackberry in favour of cross state yelling, its that loud....

Anyways.. On a slow day I always think it nice to share a couple of things....
Orlando looking hot (always nice to look at if you're bored i find and more of a rarity these days)


And a reminder of what a real model actually looks like when posing in panties (though i admit the pussy is slightly tacky ;P)

Breaking news.... breaking news....

There are unsubstantiated reports that Pirates of the Caribbean actor Orlando Bloom (pictured above) may be back in possession of his Balls. After months of speculation that the Hollywood hearthrob had actually legally signed his testicles over to the Panty Mantis, our sources now say that in the last 90 mins a covert operation has been in process to reclaim them. Representatives for the Panty Mantis or Orlando were unavailable for comment.

The world is full of coincidences...

Don't you agree?

I can give you a couple of recent examples if you like?? Well, of course there is that coincidence of those patient loyal fans at LAX just happening to have photos of Orlando with them as they went through the air port - now come on.... don't be cyncical... I never leave the house without my A3 portrait.... seriously!

And then of course there is the coincidence of photos of Orlando belatedly appearing in a new outfit on the PM's street in New York, with her friend and her little rat dog after an enthusiastic week of ribbing about how OB was seemingly welded into the same outfit and look less than smitten with his pet - I'm sure its all purely by chance that these were released when they were..... after all, Orlando would never do pap set ups would he.....

you see, the world IS full of coincidences....

Actually that brings me nicely onto my next celeb based beef.... apparently OB is off to play some celebrity golf in Jamaica (one could be unkind and say he obviously needs to refill the coffers after a few months of actually acting) - to be honest this isn't one to lay at Orlando's door - he's just being a celeb. What does P**s me off is the people who organise these parties. If you know and like the celeb in question and ask them to your party - thats one thing, but to invite them because they are famous - what a crock s**t.... there! I feel much better now :D

It will be interesting to see if OB is more keen on turning up to something that has an attendance fee that he did for the GG pre oscar party... and even more interesting to see if the organisers are keen to pay for the panty mantis to turn up too..

Hallelujah, A different outfit!

What a relief, Orlando has managed to liberate his bollocks from the clutches of those jersey gym trousers and into a pair of jeans AND he's obviously shelved that green top for another year too.

He's looking fairly good here though still a bit post time with the mantis if you ask me (he always looks a bit like he's come back from a war zone whenever he's been photographed on his own after a round of snaps with her)

According to that gospel of truth Twitter, he's been hanging out again at the Marmont eyeing up the clientele - Good on him. You see, he does listen to advice.....he's been able to prove that shopping does not necessarily emasculate a man if he can provide the petrol and eye up birds..... Its a shame he hasn't worked out that publicly handing his wedding tackle to the mantis ever 4-6 weeks tends to undo all his good work!

Not again Orlando.

According to Jared Orli is back in LA. Now I may have this wrong (being in the UK and last having been to New York when i was 13) but if memory serves they have shops in New York? That being the case WHY OH WHY is Orlando wearing the same bloody outfit AGAIN....

His hair looks better (so I'm assuming he's not Hydrophobic as it looks like its been washed) but who in their right mind puts the same clothes back on they have been wearing for over a week...

I'm sorry, I love the man 'n all but this is just not cool..... its not even a great outfit, St Patrick's day has been and gone (in case thats why he switches to green at this time of year and only has one green top)

Orli, just in case you've been told otherwise.... shopping is not an exclusively female domain... plenty of guys do it and still manage to look macho (and they aren't petrol heads and banging a panty mantis so you probably have the edge...)

Final point: Its very sweet that he apparently stopped and signed autographs for everyone that was waiting BUT isn't it lucky that there were people brandishing Orlando pictures for his autograph signing, imagine the embarassment if they'd had ones of RPatz for example and OB showed up..... just sayin....

Feeling the love.....

Here we go again with yet another round of pictures of OB with PM - but even i have to admit that i can feel the love.... unfortunately for PM it (as usual) isn't with her....

Exhibit one (and i'm sorry for the close up of PM at the front!)

Orlando seems to be very pleased to hug his male friend! (though the other female looks less pleased to hug the PM)


Exhibit two


Orlando and the Praying Mantis..... well, they always say pictures say a thousand words....

News of The Hobbit!

How exciting, it looks as if The Hobbit is off the ground, apparently according to here Sir Ian has updated his site to say filming will be starting shortly - I cant WAIT. Orlando or no Orlando I'm just so excited about seeing the Hobbit made into a film (of course it would be great if he could reprise the elf)

I think that bit of news has made my day :D (of course it would be made even more that we were going to see more of OB looking he does in this picture!)

More news about 'Albert Nobbs"

Coming back to more sensible contributions to TSO, there is some more detail about "Albert Nobbs", Orlando's new project.

You can see it all here

I'm kinda coming round to Amanda Seyfried, she did have a nastily kitch role in Mama Mia but she seems like she's going places and she is certainly a knock out looks and style wise!!

All in all, i'm cautiously excited about this project - C'mon Orlando - get THIS one in the cinemas - its been YEARS!! (I'm not counting NYILU since it didn't make it to the uk)
p.s the photo is there to remind us all how thoroughly good looking he can look when he bothers..... :D

More Orca Action

I thought you'd all enjoy a bit more of OB and his blow up Orca, primarily because its nice to see Orlando looking genuinely keen on someone or something and not like he's been pulled there by his bollocks. So I thought this deserved posting, it seems Orlando likes to vary his positions!! I wonder if he's actually named it Viggo yet or whether thats his (and our!) little secret...

Enough with that outfit already Orlando!

after seeing OB in the same outfit for about a week now, I'm starting to wonder if he's actually welded into it.....

maybe its some kind of cunning restraint the Praying Mantis has employed to keep him from running?

maybe those sweatpants are disguising some kind of bollock clamp to make him behave?

perhaps if he thinks he wears green for long enough, some irish pixies will come and spirit him away?

whatever the reason, one things for sure - its fully washable, from the looks of this photo it seems as if he's taken to showering in it in sheer desperation...

Moving swiftly on, Variety has reported that OB is to start shooting a movie in Dublin in June starring Glenn Close - I'm well excited for this one (assuming it makes it into cinemas) - Glenn Close rocks in a big way and of course it will nice to have OB a little closer to the uk !

A little more info can be found here

ere we go again.....

I wonder if he's saying something along the lines of "I know mate, I'm not surprised Louis V didn't want her either - i've been doing everything i can to get rid of her since 2007 and she's still following me around" to his luggage assistant....

probably not, but wouldn't it be great if he did....

I do think its really odd that they separate and get together again during these set ups..... if they want to promote that they are travelling together why some photos where PM is on her own and then a load of photos with them in the car together??

Ah hang on, I think i can answer my own question: poor hounded couple (who arrange for the paps to snap them)

I did promise I wouldn't focus on the Praying Mantis on this blog.... and i won't, other than to say what a fabulous close up:


This is well cute though (even if the outfit needs picking up by Go Fug Yourself....

I wonder......

..... if this is how Orlando managed to get his cold sore?



Or perhaps it was another variety of canine? - what do we reckon??

One things for sure tho, if Orlando has been doing the "giving", his dingo better watch out - I'm not sure cold sores and modeling go very well together, particularly given how hard she works (!) and the fact that stress brings on an attack..... mind you, I guess she could do a cracking advertisement for Zovirax :D - you see, every cloud DOES have a silver lining !!!

Caption Time 3 (Friday edition :D)

Orlando was upset about his conversation with Viggo, until he realised there were other ways that he could get a turn on top.....

Oh dear oh dear.......

There are many things wrong with this photograph.......

I could go all sarcastic and say "can't you feel the love" but there are plenty of other places that will be pointing out that kind of problem with this photo...

I could point out that all though both Orlando and his mantis are trying to look caught out, in fact Orlando thanks the paparazzi for turning up in the X17 video.....

I could point out that Jared seems to have developed into Orlando and Mantis' personal blogger, he certainly seems to get the inside info...

What I am going to point out is this photo probably shows the reason why Orlando was in absentium at the Global Green party and the other Oscar bashes - he appears to have a cold sore on his upper lip..... I 'm not going to go into what causes Cold sores... but he needs to wack some Zovirax on that PDQ - poor boy.........

Caption TIme 2.......

As the photoshoot dragged on, Orlando found new ways to remind him of Viggo

Happy Ground Hog day!

Guess what everyone...... Orlando and Miranda are apparently engaged.... yet again.... ( I know, I know I can hear you all gasping with shock that this rumour has leaked yet again).

I'm wondering who they are expecting to care about this the 56th time round.... still I suppose I'm posting about it lol.....

According to the Australian "News Weekly" they will be tying the knot within a year, at a buddhist temple in LA/Sydney/Thailand(delete as appropriate) and Bar and Leo have already agreed to attend (even though they haven't actually set a date yet according to the article)...

Someone kill me NOW, I don't think I can handle getting yet another round of bloody google alerts about this.... Its funny how the "engagement" stories always coincide with Miranda trying to pimp herself in the fashion arena, she should watch out - once she is married, WTF is she going to use next to get in the press.....

Not for the first time, I'm channeling the poor Orli vibe :D

What is this?

Ok, So do can you tell me what this is?



You could be forgiven for thinking that that Orlando has returned to the "out-of-the-shower" look he favoured in 2007 (in fact this is the only time the GoFugyourself girls have picked him in their blog - i guess that counts as kudos to him, to me there are many times he should of been filed under"WTF", "oh honey no....." or "Manfugs")

What it definitely isn't is a photo of Orlando at this years GG pre-oscar party, despite copious publicity to the contrary. I may be calling a spade a spade, but I think if you've said you're going to something and they've then used it to publicise the event, bar a severe bout of gastric flu or something of that order, you should be turning up....

Maybe I'm being a bit harsh! At least the lovely Bast was there - good man, he seems very serious about his beliefs :) Plus at least OB didn't turn up with his pet Praying mantis so I guess there is a silver lining to every situation !

Ok, so first post.... here goes

I thought I'd play it safe.... what a lovely picture :D

ok I can't make it that brief.... obviously welcome if you are reading this, it means you made the journey from TVC and the lovely Simone over to The State of Orlando! Congratulations, I (obviously) think its a very wise decision!

I think Orlando is looking particularly fine in this photo at a UNICEF creative artist event a couple of days ago. There was some discussion over whether that suit was the one from the London Pirates premier..... if it is, he's shrunk and got slimmer, I've always thought the POTC premier suit was a little ummm short on him!