Saturday, 4 December 2010

Book the Mantis!

I knew Live in my skin was good but I didnt realise that that it was going to give the means to book our panty mantis for various parties and product launches for future products from the ensurient corpulence range..

apparently its really really easy! All you have to do is click here

They even have a full biography to give YOU ideas on how you can use the Panty Mantis at your corporate event too - lets take a look shall we?

One of the leading celebrity booking agencies and celebrity marketing agencies in the country, CelebrityTalentPromotions provides information about the Panty Mantis' accomplishments (by this I imagine they mean getting nekkid?), achievements (????), corporate appearances (ah yes with you again: her many pap shots with designer clothing and handbag), endorsements deals and booking fees.

We assist corporations in finding the Panty Mantis' agent and business manager, contacting the Panty Mantis' management company, assistant, PR Firm and publicist, booking Panty Mantis speaker appearances (what exactly is she going to speak about? elementary dingoese? the hard life of being a model? her white ball of light?), personal appearances, view past Panty Mantis speaking engagements (you see, even they are impressed she can string a sentence together, all be it in dingoese), hiring the Panty Mantis for endorsements, book the Panty Mantis for autograph signings (I just knew those "fans" didnt turn up of their own accord), and hire the Panty Mantis for speaking engagements.

We are a celebrity booking agency that also hires the Panty Mantis for corporate event appearances, as a keynote presenter for speaking engagements (bahaahaahahaaha), celebrity golf tournaments (tarts and Vicar parties, fantasy smurf get togethers), being a special guest host (Oh yes she's specul alright!), tradeshows, conventions (hoorah, she can next fat 'n' Jellus convention), store grand openings, event hosting, licensing deals, product endorsements, print advertising and television commercials. Our booking agents specialize in finding the fees, price and costs to hire the Panty Mantis for your next event

I wonder how much it costs to get her to be the "face" of our "All Original Lard Gel"?


  1. I've got $3.57 I've been saving up to buy a crate of All Original Lard Gel, but I'd be willing to donate it to our fund to get the mantis to be the face of our lard gel. I can't imagine it'd cost too much since she'd have to be desperate for work now that she's all phat and bloated.

  2. I'm still saving my pennies to book Orlando.

  3. LOL! At the bottom of the page under the heading of "Miranda Kerr products, merchandise, and collectibles" (couldn't copy and past it but that's close to the title)

    "No products found." - not even KORA!


  4. Wait, we can book Whorely? OK, TWO dollars. And a free t-shirt. That should do it.

  5. I was thinking i'd throw in a pair of longer yoga trousers - I can imagine he starts flashing all kinds of things in those shorts during a headstand...