Our Panty Mantis doesn't miss a trick does she? It must have finally sunk in that one of the disadvantages of getting "married" is that you are no longer able to tease the worlds press (well at least those few that are still interested) with whether you will or not!
Bless her, I bet that was a painful few days of her brain grinding slowly along to work that one out, but panic not - she's found a new "groundhog" Day to use - whether or not she is pregnant
Now, I know I'm not often kind to the PM, when she asked us for advice on how to deal with a post "wedding' Orlando, I ignored her; when she wanted bridesmaids, I made sure I picked the most stunning of us to participate (in fact that is probably why she ended up with a super sekrit "wedding")
but I thought it really was only fair to point this out to her... so ... here goes...
Miranda (see I am being nice, I'm using your actual name) the baby idea is probably quite a good replacement for the engaged / not engaged story but there is one significant draw back.... you are going to have to come up with a baby if you confirm its true. Now, there are plenty of places you can get hold of one if you need (Ask Orlando to talk to Brad and Ange, they should be able to point you in the right direction for one that's the right age) but be aware that once you "announce" it and how far gone you are, that starts an inexorable countdown that carliii will not be able to spin you out of.
In simple terms: Announcement of baby = production of baby a maximum of 9 months later
(Oh, and I'd make sure your "husband" is in on on this one - it would be slightly awkward if he started demanding paternity tests in public....)
HA! LOVE IT!
ReplyDeleteWhen our idols are worse them us in stupidity it's time to move on! Just MY opinion, sorry.
ReplyDeleteI am sticking to my theories if she is 'up the duff':
ReplyDeletea) Its not OB's.
b) If it is, then its a turkey baster baby.
c) SHe will have a fake stomach and the kid that is presented will be adopted.
d) She is a surrogate. Bad choice for one though.
@ Anomers II - you've lost me slightly there....
ReplyDelete@ Mystic - TURKEY BASTER ROFL
It was just announce on People.com that she is preggers. My theories still apply.
ReplyDelete*counts back 4 months* hmm... interesting.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous- How is it interesting? You don't think its Orlando's?
ReplyDeleteShe admitted in the interview with Vogue Spain she was 4 months and that interview occured in late July so she is like 5 months now.
Of course it's NOT Orlando's! I don't think she is pregnant, but IF she is: I don't know if they were rumored to be together (e.g. in the same country, state, city at the same time), I don't care if HE thinks it's his, I don't care if she convinces him it's his, I don't even care if it's cute like him.
ReplyDelete*Unless* there's a DNA test that PROVES it's HIS, one that's done in England or in a place in the U.S. where Miranda, her family or her P.R. people can't rig the test (Orlando should especially NOT have it done in Australia!) , I will NEVER believe it's his! Period! People, especially women, can fake anything to get their way. To quote the line from the 1930s version of "The Women", "I am woman and I know my kind!" I know how mercenary a money/power/fame hungry woman can be to either get a man or steal one (having battled it out with a harpy who tried to take from me, I speak from experience).
Miranda is a lying sack of shit, always has been and always will be and will do anything to get what she wants. She's a borderline sociopath. Yes, I do think Orlando is stupid enough to be trapped by her, no matter how savvy about his assets or how many "dangerous women" he's dated.
There's always ONE that causes men to let their guard down, there's always one woman who is more cunning than the man thinks he is! Women like Miranda have brought down men more powerful and more intelligent than Orlando, he's no exception.
Come on now 'anon' ease up on the hateraid against Miranda. I'm no fan of hers but she's not as evil as you make her out to be. She's married to Orlando now and they are going to have a baby, and there's nothing you can do about it.
ReplyDeleteThere's a huge difference between the fun spirited mocking about the Blooms that goes on here at TSO and the deranged hateful crap you're spewing. Chill out!
I am not all up for hating her...but I do smell something fishy... I want to like Miranda..I really do...I want to see in her what everyone who seems to like her sees...but I am just having a REALLY hard time finding those qualities. And they are married because she is PREGNANT. So much for being a "traditionalist" Orlando... Maybe BC wasn't organic and had toxins..or something. Maybe the noni skin condom broke..who effin knows. But the fact is, she's preggers. And four months along. Four months ago she wasn't even in the same country as Orlando. Amazing isn't it?
ReplyDeleteGreat post Sweetie!
ReplyDelete