Its snowing thick and fast

I think its lovely how the Panty Mantis has chosen to get into season spirit by "snowing" us with paparazzi shots! She may look like a grinning nincompoop in all of them but thats a small sacrifice one has to pay for the pleasure of being innundated with photographs of her lyvinge the lyfe...

To be honest they all look the same to me - same idiotic grin, same geographical position in relation to Orlando, same outfit on the pair of them...

More interestingly there a Video has surfaced of OB on the set of the 3 Musketeers..... apparently that Hairdo is a Pompadour hairdo?!?!?!?

Well, what ever that is I'm taking it that that means Biiiiig Hair - to be honest I'd call it more of an afro ..... but what would I know!

(video is here btw - he looks like he's having fun!)

Three Musketeers

Its not much of a work update I'll admit - but news has leaked out that Orlando is apparently back in Berlin filming for the three musketeers - his "wife" apparently has had herself surgically attached to his lower left buttock in a vain bid to stop him escaping while he gets the chance..

I wonder what happened to all those terrorist threats they were supposedly so frightened of, or her keenness not to fly because of the little one (in her belly) - obviously the cause of keeping hold of the Bloom at all costs outweighs any other considerations!

I also thought it was really nice to see that the paparazzi managed to leave our poor hounded couple alone for this particular visit, its nice to see they can respect their privacy when they arent called in feel so inclined..


(Thanks to the deluge of emails i've had expressing interest in the Ensurient Corpulence range of products - I will shortly be linking you up to few of particular favourites whilst I work on the full range. Being fat and jellus is a passion of mine and one that I am thrilled to be able to share with you all xxx)

An attack of the killer collar...

Nice one Orlando - hopefully if you try and do another staged "kiss on set" with our pumpkin headed panty mantis (who by the way seems to have partially addressed the serious wardrobe malfunction thats been going on since she has been traumatising europe with her presence) that will keep her at the appropriate distance ! And oh how shocking that those evul or perhaps I should now say Kerrazy Paparazzi were right there to catch the moment of tru luuurve !

All in all I think he's rocking this Elizabethan vibe - but I'm not entirely convinced that a flowery brocade jacket and stripey balloon trousers entirely go fashion wise...

On the plus side, they havent made him wear a "big bird" hat yet .....

My my Duke, what enormous trousers you have!

Introducing Orlando dressed up as the Duke of Buckingham! Very cheeky!

I have to say I'm extremely relieved to see that the threatened modern interpretation turned out to be rubbish!

How exciting: OB back on a film set and with not only enormous trousers but a rather nice pair of boots too!!

A model in the family!

Don't worry, you can relax! it isn't a pregnant panty mantis modelling the new range from mothercare...

its ORLANDO - doing what a good looking guy should be doing and modelling lots!

He's the new brand ambassador for Uniqlo, along with Charlize Theron. Apparently this is a global campaign, so you should all get a kitted out OB dropping into a shopping centre / mall near you very soon....pictorially speaking of course! I doubt he's the type for Mall tours like someone else I could mention...

Great as the news is, I have to say i'm not to keen on the above photo - Charlize looks far too airbushed and OB looks rather grumpy. Mind you i guess if I had sunburn on my cheeks and was forced to sit around in a bright blue boiler cover having my photo taken, i'd be feeing a bit grumpy too (sorry, I guess I just prefer OB modelling suits!)

It is great to see Orlando modelling though, Just as long as we don't get subjected to the Panty Mantis playing the role of "Mother Earth" in a new movie about motherhood..

Panty Mantis: Just because he can do both, that doesn't mean YOU can...

Latest on the 3M is that shooting is happening in Germany but OB isnt - his scenes can't have been scheduled yet....

Eh Up, Gorgeous!

Orlando is heading to set for the Three Musketeers in Germany and was photographed outside his hotel last night looking all brown eyed and gorgeous...

I actually think this one has got more than half a chance of hitting the big screen, which will be exciting...

PJ, if you are still reading here - you + me + peckham plex = shits and giggles??

(PJ is not an OB fan but is more than a little patient with my fascination with him - bless her, she even sat through Elizabethtown with me)

I have to hand it so some of his fans though - according to the blurb he was staying a top secret location and yet his fans still knew which hotel to hang around outside..... some people must just be psychic!

Hiatus Over!

I'm back from a week of Agatha Christie and it doesn't look like I missed much (unless you count the entire panty mantis clan launching themselves on twitter in the interests of selling some of the Panty Mantis' overpriced facial care )

As far as I can see here is a summary of the salient points...

1) The Panty Mantis is/isnt about to spawn (this one has turned into the new ground hog day of rumours now they can't use the engagement anymore)

2) The honey moon / post wedding / David Jones debarcle has been so incredibly badly handled PR wise its a global joke (seriously guys, you go on honeymoon for four days; you come back to that the Mantis can stick her ass out for the camera even though DJ's has announced that they have released her from her duties to go on her honeymoon (of course that one isn't helped by the fact that DJ's replaced our mantis within about 20 seconds ); you then go on a second honeymoon ???? - oh dear oh dear, the mantra 'less is more' springs to mind!)

3) More shots of Orlando with the love of his life - his Motorbike (though if I was OB I wouldn't of been snapped chatting away to them - it kinda makes it obvious that its a set up)

4) The Panty Mantis is rumoured to be starting her own blog - words can't express how excited I am about this one!

The only piece of vaguely interesting news relates to The Three Musketeers. Apparently Orlando is very excited according to this:

"“I’m a big fan of him,” Anderson gushes, “I always thought he should be in this movie and I never thought we’d get him, because I always thought he’d say, ‘No, it’s too much like Pirates. I don’t want to do another movie like that.’

Umm Anderson, nothing he's done since pirates has made it into the cold light of day, I'm not surprised he leaped at this one!

Because Orlando, I always felt he had been straitjacketed into playing the good guy. He’s like a lass and you can’t get any better than that, he’s so noble and so…and then, in Pirates, he’s the noble guy.”

He's like a lass???????

“And I think that’s why he stopped doing studio movies because he felt he was being tapped as the good guy and he had these depths that he wanted to show,” he adds, “The Duke of Buckingham is a nasty piece of work. And I can’t tell you how excited Orlando is to play kind of like a nasty guy. I mean, he’s just such a nice man and he’s so excited about the movie. If I had to tell him that to go to Germany and start help building the sets right now, I think he’d leave Miranda Kerr and go, ‘I have to go and help build some sets.”"

Anderson obviously hasn't noticed that Orlando will leave the Panty Mantis at the drop of the hat if he thinks he has even the whisper of an excuse to get away!

Looking Forward

I thought it a good time to take a look forward to the next year for Orlando. Seeing him on the Red Carpet again with lots of people yelling at him reminded me of the good old days. It was also rather interesting proof that his "keeping out there' campaign by hauling his Panty Mantis round the world obviously has worked on some levels, the reception he got out on the carpet and in the Royal Festival Hall demonstrated people still knew who he is!!

So, in the next year he's apparently filming Albert Nobbs and the Three Musketeers. For once, I think both of these may have more than a snowballs chance in hell of getting released, particularly the last one. For anyone putting money on a movie there is a strong cast and as far as OB goes, he is in a role which he has proven ability at box office wise, Albert Nobbs I'm less sure about in terms of will it be released (though of course having Glenn Close in it is a big brucie bonus).

All ribbing of Orlando aside, it would be nice to see him making some kind of comeback, putting down less worthy distractions and getting back to being on the silver screen..

Its also nice to see him back in the UK again, he always seems to have
more gravitas and dignity on home ground (unlike someone else I could
mention, who seems to have even less dignity when she returns to Oz than
usual.. that really is an achievement).

Bad Ass Orlando: Finally!!

Whoop whoop! Orlando has "officially" signed on to be the bad guy in this movie according to here (among other sources out there).

I'm well excited about this one, back to tights / boots and riding around but with the added bonus that he won't be sickly sweet and righteous! Yippeee!

Bad Ass Orlando is something I've been wanting to see on screen for a while, though of course whether it makes it onto screen is another point, c'mon OB, make this the one that gets through without a years delay and counting...

He's also due back in London apparently for the National Movie Awards on wednesday - always nice to have him back home.... and with a bit of luck that volcano will kick off again and keep him mantis free again for a bit!

So, to summarise both posts today

Orlando = new movie opportunity and trip to London
Panty Mantis = no movie opportunity, instead she's hocking bad advice to who ever will listen, modelling cheap underwear and getting her baps out - (yes that was particularly nasty, I'm stuck in an office again looking at the sunshine :()

Victoria Bl**dy Sekrits

Oh goodeee, another VS model that has decided to try and make her way into the world of acting..

The Panty Mantis must be a bit peeved though, recently the gossip sites have been in full throttle discussing which actress / knicker model will be in the running to take over from Megan Fox for the new Transformers movie..it came too about three or four, one of which was the Panty Mantis (another of which was Gemma Arterton).

Then low and behold, straight from left field, courtesy of Geek Week, came the news that Rosie Huntingdon-wawa had get the coveted spot....

One the one hand bleugh.... Models are not the same as actresses. Last time I checked you needed some training and skill to act (there is some cracking clip of our Mantis in a TV sitcom that proves that somewhere around - if anyone is able to link me up, I'd be ever so grateful, I could do with a laugh to start monday off..).

On the other hand, it could be extremely funny and what a shame our own pet mantis apparently didn't get the role.... I thought it was too good to be true..

arggggghh i HATE Victoria Bl**dy Sekrits, do they have some gadget in HQ that turns normal women into vapid airheads, prancing around in their badly made and overpriced underwear pretending to save the world???

Sorry, I had to get that off my chest.. moving on -T
I also hear that the three Musketeers is mean't to start filming in August, so IF Orlando is on board - that would be mean him having a very busy summer what with Albert Nobbs in July.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - GET ONE OF THESE SUCKERS IN A MOVIE THEATRE Pleeeeease Orlando, otherwise we are going to be threatened with watching Victoria Sekrits models trying to demonstrate their "craft"...

A Quiet couple of days

I've got very little to add on the Panty Mantis' recent PR blow out - other than she's back being Orlando Blooms Girlfriend - glad to see Mr. Kerr didn't last long!!!!

There really isn't much to post on regarding Orlando (though that gospel of truth had him in San Diego - apparently the tweeter was rather suprised to see the Panty mantis with her clothes on, I know just how she feels....)

One bit of news though: apparently the three Musketeers is apparently going to be produced in 3D (isn't everything these days....). I haven't ever seen a 3D film (i've always thought a new gimick...) but 3D Orlando has gotta be worth checking out...

Maybe OB is preparing for the Jerry B Fest in a week or so's time...

The Good Doctor and the Three Musketeers

All I can say to the above is Nice One OB! he looks very cute here and I'm trying very hard not to pull out all my doctor and nurses jokes........ So I wonder if this means that there is a possibility of this movie seeing the light of day, I hope so... its been a while.

Also according to here he is being considered for the Duke of Buckingham in a new version of the Three Musketeers. Obviously its very early days but I'd like to see him in an evil role (in fact the Good Doctor isn't so good either), he's done far too much of being the doe eyed hero, my favourite part of all the POTC films was when he started double crossing jack and looking evil..

he must just look hotter than way !

actually i just want SOMETHING to come out, even if it is on DVD and even (and I never thought I'd say this) if he does look like some ageing rocker - its been that long that I'll take anything... actually not anything - I'd draw the line at welcoming a movie starring OB and the Panty Mantis, all though, would that be so bad it would be an unintentional comedy a la Arnie? Hmm ok - scrub that - I'll take anything with OB in it :D