Alls well that ends well.

The Panty Mantis smiled happily as she contemplated the success of her cunning plan.

"Orlandoe" she said "aarnt yew pleezed yew saved ur coszin and ur dowg? And looke owr freindz the paps aar happie too! nowe just give meee ur balls back so eye can store them wear theye belong."

Orlando sighed deeply and thought: here we go again, not only does this puffy nightmare on sticks have my balls, but she also now knows that British air space is open, I wonder what it takes to make that volcano errupt again? Still, at least i managed to get a little something from Dior for Viggo!

Skeletor in a Nightgown and other things..

There are a few elements to my post-of-the-day, over the last 24 hrs rather a lot of things have ticked my fancy one way and another..

1) The panty mantis 'attended" some green envelope opening in New York looking like Skeletor in a nightgown. Stop! I hear you cry, so not news worthy.. well I'd agree with you but how could i resist this:

A respected friend elsewhere suggested she was trying to fly home to London, proving my point that Orlando can get away with the whole "flight ban" thing for a lot longer than he thinks!

2)Then there was our "fatjellushaterz" shout out (ok probably not in reality but bear with me).... apparently Skeletor (alias the Panty Mantis) bid/brought a Damien Hirst piece called "All you need is Jealousy" - that made me laugh a lot, is she trying to send the world a subtle message or is she revelealing her subsconcious internal reflections...

3) Finally that gospel of truth Twitter had a couple of OB mentions including one where he was chatting up a chick in Waitrose, now admittedly it isn't a nice 'n' kinky club like he seems to like in LA but it does lead me to suspect he may still be on home ground - I hope so for his sake, Skeletor was looking like her elbows could do some serious damage in that nightgown.

p.s another "old school" photo of OB as requested..... back in the days when the Timpsons man wouldn't of repeatedly twittered that Orli needed a hair cut!

Where's Orli?

After a frenzied week or so of PR crash after PR crash its all gone a bit quiet for Orli, maybe he's decided discretion is the better part of valour?

Sadly his pet Panty Mantis has no such common sense. She "hosted" a party with designer Minnie Mortimer last week. Apparently there are some Hollywood connections in there and OB surfs with MM's hubby so I imagine thats why our golden couple were there.

I've always thought the concept of hosting rather an interesting one. To me, it implies you buy in the drinks, make the arrangements, provide the food, meet and greet and make sure everyone is having a good time. To the Panty Mantis however, it seems to mean standing around being photographed looking like the village idiot with your "mr Tumnus" hooves on...


Its a credit to Minnie that the PM is not looking her worst here, the dress is nice and dare I say her hair style suits her that way, so much better than her up-do of late. Ok, I'm done with the good points - shall we move on to the bad ones now?

Whats that I see upon her feet? Miranda, I know you luuurve your shoe boots, we've heard you say that they are one of the key pieces this season (just like they were last year if I remember correctly) we all understand that, but take a veiled glance at what your companion is wearing wither her equally belt like dress.... that style of shoe goes much better with the dress for an evening function and has the added advantage of not reminding everyone in the room of Narnia.

Another small point, if I may: standing like that makes it hard to believe you've ever had any model training whatsoever.. I imagine you're trying to convey "I'm a fun sorta girl" with that stance, in fact what it communicates is "Has anyone seen my brain cell today". Obviously we know thats not true with your new book coming out and all that.. but you wouldn't want everyone to get the wrong impression would you??

No wonder Orlando is looking quite so horrified in the picture above...