Tuesday, 1 February 2011

Specul measures

I was contemplating a post this morning, but was slightly lacking in material, so I thought I wouldnt bother.... until, that is, I thought i'd just give that mine of information (Other wise known as the Panty Mantis' blog) a look for inspiration..

lets just say she didnt dissapoint (thanks PM)

I think i'm actually spoilt for choice... But I'm going to pick her salient advice on how to avoid stretch marks (I thought mantis women didnt get them genetically, but anyway)

are you ready.... because this is truly special - and there is NO WAY I would of thought of this first stage ...

Step one: After showering – towel dry

Wow....... Im just so enlightened by that edifying comment

I'll let that gem sink in .... ok?


Step two: Dry body brush after each shower (if you dry body brush AFTER the shower, your body will be clean and fresh), use the towel to remove any skin remaining after brushing

what? no miracle cream by Kora....

Step three: Apply KORA Organics Enriched Body Lotion to soften, moisturise, protect and nourish the skin. Over your entire body paying particular attention to your stomach, breasts, thighs and buttocks.

PHEW - i was getting worried

I think she's missing step four out though... allow me :

Step Four: MAke sure your breasts thighs and buttocks are in full camera shot of your favourite photographer, post it on the net and allow the world to privately see your privates , all in the name of health and beauty...

I cant' believe she left step four out...... still I guess that last one must be like a reflex to her by now, and it didnt cross her mind to note it down!


  1. Towel dry? Really? Not drip dry? Hmmmm, that might explain why I'm late to work every day.

    I have to say, this list of instructions has done absolutely nothing at all to convince me that mantis breath is intelligent. I have to remind myself sometimes that she is actually speaking in English (or trying to anyway).

    And frankly, most women I know shower, exfoliate and moisturise everyday. I don't need someone with the intelligence of a retarded rubber band to tell me how to take care of myself. It's not rocket science.

  2. Damn! THAT's why I still have skin left, and why my body NEVER felt clean and fresh after my shower - should've done the scrubbing AFTER the shower instead of BEFORE!

    In all her efforts to show people how intelligent she is, the only thing Moronduh confirms everytime she opens her mind to the world(apart from that one braincell she shares with the kerr clan, chugging merrily on it's little bicycle in the vast space of her skull) is that 'Total-Dumbass' doesn't even begin to describe her.