Wedding dress

Obviously I didn't mean that the Panty Mantis had finally completed the paperwork to initiate the exhaustive search for her wedding dress. As far as I know she's still in the process of borrowing the family brain to assist her in getting her round the fact that moaning on twitter alone doesn't galvanize the average corporate bureaucracy!



Instead its another unrelated post and how fab is this! Westwood modelled by Moss! Actually its not entirely unrelated, I thought since the PM is having SUCH difficulty locating her dress, she might appreciate a little visual encouragement to track hers down... Wanda, Joders, I think Im right in saying that you are both still extremely keen on getting you're carefully chosen bridesmaids dresses out if the opportunity arises!

Fabulous!

Nothing to do with the Panty Mantis and her lyfe and I'm not really a royalist either, but how fabulous does Kate M look in this...




you see Panty Mantis, THIS is how you master looking sophisticated and cool in the glare of media spotlight... ah yes, of course there is a small difference - I doubt Kate has to call hers up, but still you get the idea?.... GOOD!

Now I can go back to the girl crush Im forming on the lovely Kate

Annnnd Im Back!

There is a good reason for my long absence from this Blog - honestly..... Just give me a chance to explain...

Well, in fact its quite simple - while The Panty mantis briefly joined the community of the fat n jellus, I felt it only fair in the spirit of sisterhood to leave her be for a bit, allow her to enjoy her oversized chair, her enormous fridge and all the other benefits of being one of the chosen few...

Now she has returned to resembling a stick insect (see above) ive ejected her forthwith from the sisterhood (anyone resembling a cross between a stick insect and a xylophone does NOT qualify for the esteemed ranks for the Fat n Jellus) and decided to start a few posts again...

after all, now shes back lyving the lyfe again - things can only get funnier surely....

So, my dear Panty Mantis, please feel free to get back in touch - Ive galvanised my girls (wanda, Joders - you game, Im not sure whether your bridesmaid duties will be required, apparently the PM has still not managed to locate her wedding dress for her anniversary but its always best to be prepared) and im extremely keen to hear how being the mother earth mantis is suiting you!

perhaps we can even be friends? now you have some comprehension of what being Fat n Jellus means, though admittedly even at your biggest, there is no way you could rival the core posse!

Writers Block

OK Im going to say what must be apparent to anyone that regularly reads here - Im suffering with a bad case of writers block! Ever since I had the notion that to continue to report on someone being so incredibly stupid was not only tiresome but also perhaps in itself could be classed as stupid Ive been failing to see the wit...

The idea the panty mantis is thicker than a redwoods trunk isnt exactly news any more....

Of course she continues to deliver such gems via twitter and facebook to her random online people close online friends such as the naming of poor flinker after her dead ex boyfriend (Orlando evidently either has returned his man globes to the clamper, is extremely understanding or doesnt give a shit what she does). She privately continues to deliver to her avid readership intricate details of her daily routine AND of course we have had the first post flinker shots of her with her boobs swinging round her navel (Bras are a fabulous invention Panty Mantis, particularly when you actually have breasts). All in all its much of the same.

The other dynamic of course is the horrifying prospect that, despite my best efforts, I've inadvertently developed a life. No amount of consumption of Lard has managed to effect this so far - but dont worry i will keep fighting the good fight.

So what was I saying here? Ah yes, posts will be a little more spaced out for the moment until a) I regain interest or b) Orlando ceases to be ritually tortured by his mantis....

Ask Men

Well i rolled around on the floor with laughter at the this next one. Whatever its other faults you have to hand it to the Panty Mantis' blog - its an absolute master of spinning sh*t!

It reports proudly here that our very own favourite Mantis came number 5 in the "Ask Men" Australia poll.. What I'm most amused by is the fact that they are surprised by the outcome. I cant think of many other Australians out there at the moment (if you can call what the mantis has been doing being "out there") who take their clothes off as much as she does, provide regular updates on how their boobies are looking and spend as much time chatting to random people online close online friends as she does.

More exciting perhaps would have been an announcement that the Panty Mantis wasnt listed in the Ask Men Poll because she'd actually spent the previous year keeping her private parts under wraps... yes i know, Hell will freeze over first! But still, THAT would be worth reporting!

I think its more of a wonder that she didnt come first... though actually looking at number 4 - whose photo consists of a pair of well developed boobies covered in a couple of feathers - it does rather make sense...

Never mind Mantis - perhaps if you work the feathery booby vibe next year - you could come fourth too.

Uniglo round 2

Obviously even Uniglo have realised an "Ive been tangoed approach" is not the best look for a winter campaign - here is one of the latest shots of Orlando doing the modelling thing. At least he's less Orange this time - though I'm personally not convinced by what he's selling (particularly that first look), hes doing a good job modelling!

Party Time

I really wasnt going to do an update - my creative streak seems to have a bad case of bordom with our favourite couple - but with set upon set of Orlando out partying minus his pet Mantis all over the place, the temptation was too much...

He's been at a variety of different parties over the last few days, all without the Mantis and all where he looks like he's enjoying himself - here's hoping this is the new way forward....

The Panty Mantis meanwhile has "privately" been sharing the details of her private life with random online people her closest friends. ONe of the more amusing ones for me had to be her saying she had to go because "we" were are all sitting down to dinner... I wonder if she was using the royal 'we' - because Orlando was out for the evening and I'm imagining Flinker is a little young to be sitting up and enjoying a four course meal with his Mantis mummy....

and if you really want laugh (and this is cruel, even for me) check out the David Jones winter catalogue here but I warn you - this is not for the faint hearted (and I imagine provides the explanation for the lack of post baby shots of the PM....