I think the build up to the Heralded visit back home for the Panty Mantis has started - a new day is starting to mean a new, and equally inane, article about her lyving the lyfe!
This mornings offering comes courtesy of the Brisbane Times. Again you'll see she was prepared to consider staying fat n jellus but she lost the weight using Cardio (hence all those gym shots recently), yoga, and something Orlando owns that she can swim against - the last vestiges of his freedom? is imprisoned manglobes perhaps?
Its good to hear that today, after eating fries yesterday, she tackled a fried chicken today - though to be honest PM you kinda need to be eating the fries, the fried chicken and ten tubs of Original Lard Gel daily to make an impact.
Im a little lost that she chants "'I am a healthy, vibrant being of love and light" every morning - I thought that was her dog? perhaps they have united into one vibrant ball of light together?
Anyone want to put a guess on exactly how many of these breastfeeding interviews we're going to get before she arrives to tumultuous applause back home? - my guess is many!
Sunday, 10 July 2011
Saturday, 9 July 2011
Red hot Panty Mantis
What a treat! The Panty Mantis has decided to share with us the details of her so private and perfect lyfe, I was truly excited when i got shown the link by one of the fat n jellus girls from Delphi :)
Whilst Im sure there is absolutely no connection, its lovely to see that the questions on the minds of the interviewers at Perth Now! seem to be troubled by exactly the same issues that have been haunting us fat n jellus ones, making us cry into our lard pots and sink lower into our oversized chairs.. shall we take a look at a few highlights?:
"After a few more shots, she takes the opportunity to feed Flynn again, while also feeding herself a plate of salmon and spinach, and a side of fries. "I need the carbs," she says."
excellent, I dont know about you but extremely glad to see that although she may yet again resemble a walking stick insect, she hasnt totally lost her fat n jellus leanings! keep up with that Panty Mantis and one fine day we may be able to welcome you back to the fold.
"When I was pregnant, I thought, 'It doesn't matter if I get a stretch mark or if my body doesn't come back'," she says. "During the birth process, I gave everything over to him, and let go of any attachment I had to myself. I wanted him to be healthy and it didn't matter what happened to me. "
Well if I was a cynical fat n jellus cow my eyebrow would be raising rather high at this one, but obviously, having experienced the true freedom that comes with being fat n jellus, the ability to eat as much lard as you like etc - I am sure shes being absolutely truthful - after all, whats not to like about being fat, puffy and jellus.
""If you're comfortable in your own skin, you allow others to be comfortable in theirs. Don't compare yourself to someone else. "
ahhhh sorry panty mantis, its just that you're lyfe is so perfect and you have orlando all to ureself, its hard not to draw some comparisons
now, bring on the royal polo match - nothing will make my day more than seeing classy and arsy in the same shot!
(yes yes, I know - no lyfe of my own, fat n jellus etc etc etc)
Whilst Im sure there is absolutely no connection, its lovely to see that the questions on the minds of the interviewers at Perth Now! seem to be troubled by exactly the same issues that have been haunting us fat n jellus ones, making us cry into our lard pots and sink lower into our oversized chairs.. shall we take a look at a few highlights?:
"After a few more shots, she takes the opportunity to feed Flynn again, while also feeding herself a plate of salmon and spinach, and a side of fries. "I need the carbs," she says."
excellent, I dont know about you but extremely glad to see that although she may yet again resemble a walking stick insect, she hasnt totally lost her fat n jellus leanings! keep up with that Panty Mantis and one fine day we may be able to welcome you back to the fold.
"When I was pregnant, I thought, 'It doesn't matter if I get a stretch mark or if my body doesn't come back'," she says. "During the birth process, I gave everything over to him, and let go of any attachment I had to myself. I wanted him to be healthy and it didn't matter what happened to me. "
Well if I was a cynical fat n jellus cow my eyebrow would be raising rather high at this one, but obviously, having experienced the true freedom that comes with being fat n jellus, the ability to eat as much lard as you like etc - I am sure shes being absolutely truthful - after all, whats not to like about being fat, puffy and jellus.
""If you're comfortable in your own skin, you allow others to be comfortable in theirs. Don't compare yourself to someone else. "
ahhhh sorry panty mantis, its just that you're lyfe is so perfect and you have orlando all to ureself, its hard not to draw some comparisons
now, bring on the royal polo match - nothing will make my day more than seeing classy and arsy in the same shot!
(yes yes, I know - no lyfe of my own, fat n jellus etc etc etc)
Monday, 4 July 2011
Flogging a Dead Horse
ok So I think the majority of answers I got were the right way round for my spot the difference competition...
As a post script, definately at the risk of being accused of flogging a dead horse, and to prove that cut- out dresses can still look both revealing and classy: Ms Moss again modelling a rather fetching number, Im not entirely keen on the hair it has to be said but still..
I wont put the "how not to" example up again, if you're anything like me, the less you have to look at the Panty Mantis the better...
Friday, 1 July 2011
Spot the Difference..
Combining my girl crush on Kate Middleton and Fat n Jellus tendencies where the Panty Mantis is concerned is actually working out rather well, you'll be pleased to hear!
Take these two photos for example and these captions below and tell me which you think goes with which??
Caption 1: A sophisticated and fresh look for an evening event
Caption 2: A decidedly unsophisticated look for an evening event (plus I think that shes chewed off half the dress in frustration!)
Image A:
Image B:
Answers on a post card please!
Take these two photos for example and these captions below and tell me which you think goes with which??
Caption 1: A sophisticated and fresh look for an evening event
Caption 2: A decidedly unsophisticated look for an evening event (plus I think that shes chewed off half the dress in frustration!)
Image A:
Image B:
Answers on a post card please!
Thursday, 30 June 2011
Wedding dress
Obviously I didn't mean that the Panty Mantis had finally completed the paperwork to initiate the exhaustive search for her wedding dress. As far as I know she's still in the process of borrowing the family brain to assist her in getting her round the fact that moaning on twitter alone doesn't galvanize the average corporate bureaucracy!
Instead its another unrelated post and how fab is this! Westwood modelled by Moss! Actually its not entirely unrelated, I thought since the PM is having SUCH difficulty locating her dress, she might appreciate a little visual encouragement to track hers down... Wanda, Joders, I think Im right in saying that you are both still extremely keen on getting you're carefully chosen bridesmaids dresses out if the opportunity arises!
Instead its another unrelated post and how fab is this! Westwood modelled by Moss! Actually its not entirely unrelated, I thought since the PM is having SUCH difficulty locating her dress, she might appreciate a little visual encouragement to track hers down... Wanda, Joders, I think Im right in saying that you are both still extremely keen on getting you're carefully chosen bridesmaids dresses out if the opportunity arises!
Wednesday, 29 June 2011
Fabulous!
Nothing to do with the Panty Mantis and her lyfe and I'm not really a royalist either, but how fabulous does Kate M look in this...
you see Panty Mantis, THIS is how you master looking sophisticated and cool in the glare of media spotlight... ah yes, of course there is a small difference - I doubt Kate has to call hers up, but still you get the idea?.... GOOD!
Now I can go back to the girl crush Im forming on the lovely Kate
you see Panty Mantis, THIS is how you master looking sophisticated and cool in the glare of media spotlight... ah yes, of course there is a small difference - I doubt Kate has to call hers up, but still you get the idea?.... GOOD!
Now I can go back to the girl crush Im forming on the lovely Kate
Tuesday, 28 June 2011
Annnnd Im Back!
There is a good reason for my long absence from this Blog - honestly..... Just give me a chance to explain...
Well, in fact its quite simple - while The Panty mantis briefly joined the community of the fat n jellus, I felt it only fair in the spirit of sisterhood to leave her be for a bit, allow her to enjoy her oversized chair, her enormous fridge and all the other benefits of being one of the chosen few...
Now she has returned to resembling a stick insect (see above) ive ejected her forthwith from the sisterhood (anyone resembling a cross between a stick insect and a xylophone does NOT qualify for the esteemed ranks for the Fat n Jellus) and decided to start a few posts again...
after all, now shes back lyving the lyfe again - things can only get funnier surely....
So, my dear Panty Mantis, please feel free to get back in touch - Ive galvanised my girls (wanda, Joders - you game, Im not sure whether your bridesmaid duties will be required, apparently the PM has still not managed to locate her wedding dress for her anniversary but its always best to be prepared) and im extremely keen to hear how being the mother earth mantis is suiting you!
perhaps we can even be friends? now you have some comprehension of what being Fat n Jellus means, though admittedly even at your biggest, there is no way you could rival the core posse!
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