Friday, 9 December 2011

When the going gets tough...

..... the tough get nekkid



or at least that seems to be our favourite panty mantis' answer to the sudden groundswell of the fat n jellus as yet another 'PM goes nekkid' photo shoot hits your screens.

Poor PM, she's going to need to employ a permanent nekkid photographer at this rate because its yet another day and it another fat n jellus person, intent on getting Orlando all to themselves AND completely missing the fact that shes "fiercely private" out there calling her a fame whore....

PM: for the next nekkid shot to counteract this, could you put a Xmas Hat on - we are firmly in the festive period afterall...

BTW the photo is of our Xmas get together this year, you can see that the lard-on is going well (and I thought the xmas horns were appropriate for me )

Monday, 5 December 2011

A fat n Jellus reading list

Good news everyone, our numbers our expanding to include several well known publications. There are just too many gems here for the fat and jellus for me to to start quoting from the articles in question, but Id be failing in my duty not to post the links..


Panty Mantis: The Debate

178 Minutes with the Panty Mantis (sounds far too long to me but anyway...)

The Panty Mantis is Lying to us (no s**t sherlock)


These early Christmas Presents just keep on landing, don"t they....

Monday, 28 November 2011

An early christmas gift?

Hear ye hear ye - all ye fat n jellus, salvation has arrived in the form of yet more wise words from the Panty Mantis.

No longer need you be sad and melancholic of your unworthyness. No longer need you cry into your family sized tubs of lard the PM has spoken words of comfort to us all!

In a recent interview she had reportedly said the following

"But now I always see myself as, like, equal to everyone."

OMG

Can it be true?

Is the fat and jellus crusade over as suddenly as it began? let me read on......

...... ah No - rightful order in the world is restored

"I can't feel bad about being who I am, just like the girl next to me can't feel bad about being who she is. Because a rose can never be a sunflower, and a sunflower can never be a rose."

that sounds like her version of "all men are equal, its just that some are more equal than others.."

Still, at least she wants us all to "embrace our own uniqueness"..... I guess thats back to the Lard and the specially adapted fridge then fatties !

Friday, 18 November 2011

What have we here?

While I have definitely lost enthusiasm for all things Panty Mantis

(i.e. PM, you can stop emailing me - I don't care how 'seksy" you are, I know Im "jus jellus", I "totally" believe that you understand the difference between at teaspoon and a tablespoon (honestly I do) and I definitely haven't seen Orlando's balls anywhere)

I couldn't let this one past... what is she wearing above her eyes??? Im so confused I'll offer a prize of a tub of lard for the best answers.

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Happy Belated Halloween Fatties

I know you have all been very busy with you Lard parties (as have I of course). Interestingly the PM has also been focussing her efforts on halloween ..



....... funnily enough she dressed up as a praying mantis (in glittery panties) to shake things up a bit. Just a small word of advice though PM - perhaps you should diary check with your other VS models next year?

Holy Moly had this to say on the subject

"Generally New York fared much better than the west coast over the weekend (Paris Hilton as She-Ra - yuk), although Miranda Kerr's party, which she foolishly scheduled to run consecutively alongside Klum's, looked a bit flat, with the supermodel as circus ring leader (with an empty big top). "

Shame on you HM (and welcome to the ranks of the fat n jellus)

Monday, 10 October 2011

Dear God, please make this happen....

"The Victoria's Secret model also revealed she would consider following in the footsteps of her husband Orlando, 34, and try her hand at acting.
She said: "If someone approached me and it sounded interesting, I wouldn't be opposed to it, but it's not something I think about."


No, dont worry, I havent changed my mind about our dear panty mantis....

Just think of the opportunities for laughter she would give, even more so if it was something serious and grim, but Im sure that she'll be handing out the giggles whatever the script....

I think that would become a fat n jellus best seller!

Thursday, 8 September 2011

Privacy Personified


I have to say Im almost feeling sorry for the Panty Mantis, the regularity with which her privacy gets invaded enjoying some quiet time with her son is so frequent its Obscene!

So you can imagine my horror to see those evul buggers at Now magazine have managed to get yet another shot of her and invaded her privacy once again... poor girl, if only they would all leave her alone....

Still she can take heart, look at all those other Celeb mums who are also suffering the same torture.....

PS Panty Mantis, if you need me to slowly go through the difference between a tablespoon and a teaspoon, I know we've had our differences, but Im here for you!