Its good to laugh!

And I promise you this will do it for you!

Fresh out of hospital and straight back talking to random online people close friends about the second coming, our Panty mantis had this to say about giving birth to a 10lb baby...

Just gorgeous, thanks so much hon. I did natural birth too, no drugs or pain killers!!! Love Miranda xxx

Much as I obviously believe every word that comes out of her mouth, I'm having the greatest difficulty getting my head round a Mantis of her build pushing out 10lb's worth of baby with nothing. From what I've seen of the birthing process, its the most painful experience known to man so I need to get some understand of our Mantis' description of this auspicious event..

To me this all hangs on what one classes as natural. One could argue that Gas and Air is natural, I suspect that the Mantis probably counts an epidurals as natural, and of course a C-section could count as completely natural (providing you discount the anaesthetic). Whatever the truth of the matter is (and I doubt we'll ever find out) one things for sure, if she's gone for a "natural" delivery of an extremely large child -

Of course there's one completely natural side effect of delivering a child of that size via natures way..... but I won't even type that here......

Congratulations to our Celebrity Couple!

according to here they've made number 27 on the Zimbio (?) Celeb couples list. Actually, considering the amount of effort (and from what anomers said Money) thats gone in this year thats not very impressive. I thought a brief translation of the text might be in order seeing as its friday :D, here we go:

Orlando and Miranda have seen a nice boost this year in both their work and personal lives.

I would totally agree with you about the personal lives stuff, but where is your comment about work coming from?

He has no less than four movies coming out in 2010,

really?????? I can think of one thats out and one that got as far as a film festival - He's MADE 3 movies, but thats not the same thing as them coming out - I hope that bits true, its been a while since I've had the pleasure of OB on the big screen..

while she's all over the place recently

Sadly yes she is, its amazing what money can buy...

-- most notably in the exclusive Pirelli calendar

Poor old Panty Mantis, her sensibilities were upset after that one from what i heard, she "apparently" doesnt like getting her bits and pieces out??!?!??!?!? luckily, her actions speak louder than her words

and on the Prada runway. - congratulations Panty Mantis, one of the few high fashion gigs you have done (even if you were with a bunch of other VS girls on a publicity excercise)

They're both sinfully beautiful,

err no, one of them is sinfully beautiful (see above), the other looks like a panty mantis

and they saw a jump in popularity when it was rumored the two were engaged,

Ah yes, Good times! they did that more than once by the way (I think we are eagerly awaiting rumour 57 at the moment

but they quickly denied the gossip.


well you cant keep on rumouring that you are getting engaged if you are engaged..

---------------

The author seems to have forgotten the Flight Fight, that also got them some column inches.... it must be a bit gutting to see people like the Lovely Johnny and Vanessa much higher up the list without all the pimping and rumour...

Oh Ted! You naughty tease....

Poor old Ted C, it sounds like he's had enough of his new "source" already! The following is merrily doing the rounds:

Dear Ted:
You confuse me. One minute you agree that Miranda is wrong for Orlando and they can't break up soon enough, and in another post you seemed thrilled they are hot and heavy again and still together. What is it? Do you like them together just because they are so beautiful? Take a stand will ya!
—Troy

Dear Oh, Whatever:
Look, as long as Orlando's going to keep torturing us with these ridiculously unlikely pairings, I can at least enjoy the scenery in the meantime, can't I? Life's easier that way, I find. Try it!

Don't worry Troy, we may all be confused but I imagine that you are one of the few that actually care any more either way. And as for Ted's response - "torturing" is an extremely good word when dealing with OB and his mantis at the moment.

C'mon Orli - I'm getting bored of this already - any chance of some movie news? (though i have to admit your use of a tie in the photo above is rather intriguing.... I'd settle for a better look at exactly what look you're going for instead if the movie thing is too hard for you!)

The world is full of coincidences...

Don't you agree?

I can give you a couple of recent examples if you like?? Well, of course there is that coincidence of those patient loyal fans at LAX just happening to have photos of Orlando with them as they went through the air port - now come on.... don't be cyncical... I never leave the house without my A3 portrait.... seriously!

And then of course there is the coincidence of photos of Orlando belatedly appearing in a new outfit on the PM's street in New York, with her friend and her little rat dog after an enthusiastic week of ribbing about how OB was seemingly welded into the same outfit and look less than smitten with his pet - I'm sure its all purely by chance that these were released when they were..... after all, Orlando would never do pap set ups would he.....

you see, the world IS full of coincidences....

Actually that brings me nicely onto my next celeb based beef.... apparently OB is off to play some celebrity golf in Jamaica (one could be unkind and say he obviously needs to refill the coffers after a few months of actually acting) - to be honest this isn't one to lay at Orlando's door - he's just being a celeb. What does P**s me off is the people who organise these parties. If you know and like the celeb in question and ask them to your party - thats one thing, but to invite them because they are famous - what a crock s**t.... there! I feel much better now :D

It will be interesting to see if OB is more keen on turning up to something that has an attendance fee that he did for the GG pre oscar party... and even more interesting to see if the organisers are keen to pay for the panty mantis to turn up too..