A Mantis with a fruit bowl on her head

Ah, normal service resumes I see (after OB's brief and undocumented sojourn in the UK - there was a twitter or something about him getting his teeth whitened).

I guess the Panty Mantis must have been getting rather cross with poor old Orlando, leaving her at home with only facebook for company. Its good to see he's had his ring altered to fit, that was kinda embarrassing - maybe Viggo's made him get one made up!

But look how stunning our Panty mantis too: Being dragged past the paparazzi by O, showing her "belly" and her "little one", having cut her black see-through dress shorter to prove that she's not just a fatty like the rest of us, though I'm not sure where she's going with the fruit bowl on her head - maybe being preggers has made her hair greasy? - I wonder where OB is taking her - I'm sure I could work on some suggestions!

Still its nice to Orlando - I'm liking the Jacket / curls/ Jeans combination - if only he'd left his Pet Mantis in her fruit bowl at home

Ted strikes again

Here we go again with yet another Blind Vice about Ted's new favourite character Harland Fuss

Dear Ted:
Question, if one of your B.V. stars did something huge—say for example, a gay B.V. star married his beard—would you immediately write about that under their guises or wait a little while? Or would you just not write about it at all because it would give too much away?
—JTP

Dear Tie the Knot:
If I wrote about it immediately, don't you think it'd be a bit obvious? But if a bearding turns into a not-so-holy matrimony then of course I'm going to dish the deets. Just look at Harland Fuss.

Draw your own conclusions of course, but I think its fairly clear at the very least who Ted would like us to be thinking this is about!

Communication from the Panty Mantis....

First day back at work, I opened up my email and look what Ive received from our Panty Mantis. I thought it was worth sharing !

Deere Lusinder,
eye thoughte eye'd wryte yew fatties a linne to gloatte nowe eye've gotte Orlandoe alle to myselffe and yew havve lostte haw haw haw, eye bette yew ahre alle upsette ande cryinge - serves yew wryte! (shitte.... howe du yew gette ridde of this) to offere yew fatties an oleave branchee. It muste be obvisous bye nowe thayt eye've one, and thayt all yure crewl specu.... specu.... (fuk it) theoriyes are wronge.

Eye culd be nastee butte nowe eye've decidede that nowe eye'm the newe guru of motherhoowd, eye thoughte it would bee morre in keepinge if eye showed thayt eye understande yure tormente. Eye too nowe knowe what it is lyke to be fatte, so we havve somethinge in commone righte?

eye thinke yew shoulde make amends to mee bye gettinge mye book "treashure urselfe", truste mee, yew of alle people neede to reade it (plus eye've gotte 1000 copies to selle), ande of course seome kora stuffe too - eye've saide this before butte yew guys wante to supporte orlandoe righte?.... gette buyinge

yew do thayte and notte only canne we bee friends butte eye mighte lette yew change this site ova to somethinge bettar, yew knowe, somthinge nicee aboutte me and orlandoe....

no promisess thoughe...


If anyone would like the link to "treashure ureself" I'm happy to link you up!

Just because

Now, I know that before when I have said its all gone a bit quiet - its generally followed by a mother of a pap set up or a special announcement, but I reckon we're safe. What have they got left to do (apart from another set up)..

The Panty Mantis is back posting away on facebook, though apparently she hasn't worked out that if you hit the "more" button you can see comments that are older - bless, technology must be a challenge when you spend most of your time prancing around in your panties - two very different skill sets.....

The 'just because' title is because of the hawt picture of a very young Orlando - way back when (before he had his balls severed - cute huh!)

And now for something completely different

Phew, it went against the grain to have a photo of the PM on the first post for too long !

Can anyone identify this Mantis?

Ok so I kind of gave it away in the title, obviously I do realise its our Panty mantis but holy photoshop batman - she's hardly recognisable...

Obviously in any photo of her that, to me anyway, is a good thing. (i know fat/jellus/orlando for myself) I can also understand the need for Vogue to get their computer tools out before putting "A vision of femininity" next to a photo of our mantis!

(P.s Sorry that i had to put this picture up with this post, it just wouldnt of made sense without it.... but I made it smaller to compensate!)

Photo Boy

If it hadnt been for Mystic's nudge, the new GQ photoshoot tasters would have completely passed me by! I've been a bit preoccupied with my duathlon training schedule compounded by more than a slight overload of Mantis bump news..... anyway....

OB apparently is in GQ US, and you've guessed it, he's on a bike!

I know, I know - the shock is all too much - still he looks quite cute in a scruffy kind of way - obviously the "wedding" and Mantis spawn press releases have managed to get both of them into the magazines this month!

Also, OB's witness statement has been released by E-online here . It made a fairly amusing read all in all, I particularly enjoyed the bit when he seemed to infer that the Panty Mantis wasn't living with him and also the volume of Deus stuff he had robbed. If she could read English, I'm sure he'd pay dearly for that slip but as it wasnt translated into dingoese, he'll probably get away with it!

Poor bloke though, the whole thing does sound like a bit of a nightmare for him - hopefully now he'll invest in a safe!