A touch of PR

Orlando and and cloven hoofed panty mantis are shlepping around paris eating food, buying stuff, being 'caught' by the paparazzi and generally name dropping shops the like (I hope they have claimed the appropriate "gifts" afterwards)

And our poor hounded couple are being followed at every turn by those pesky paparazzi too - in short its the same old stuff when they are doing a bit of profile raising. There are the usual touches in an effort to make them looked chased round the city -such as different shots of them leaving the hotel in different outfits that all appear on the same day, you know, that kind of thing. In a previous life I would have said that this was a build up to another trip back to Oz solo for the mantis but seeing as how she's too big to fly, that can't be it!

Look closer at the above photo though, this is not only an opportunity for you to buy into the fabulous lives of brand bloom-panty mantis, what is the mantis clutching in her pincer? Tube of whora product - subtlety at its best! (and thanks to ILC for pointing that one out!)

News has also broken to about the new campaign our pregnant mantis is heading up! (I know i could hardly contain my excitement either....)

When i think of what constitute essential Panty Mantis, to me this means Victoria Sekrits, Stunningness, Modelling with her ass or her 3Dboobies sticking out, hanging on to her handbag for deal life (of both varieties) and a strong affinity with Social Media! Scurrilous and evil gossip even had her posting away on her Facebook whilst she was on her hunneymoone with Orlando!

Considering particularly that last point then, I was slightly surprised to hear that she is heading up a don't use social media for a day campaign - maybe its a way of her treating her addiction, who knows or maybe its the best of a lot of bad options PR wise!

Lights... Camera.... action

Aren't we lucky, we get a "take two" scenario of the happy couple (and don't they look ecstatic in these - if only i look this happy with my twu lurve). I think its a good move - those first ones were blimming awful and Orlando is a perfectionist acting wise as I understand it, its only to be expected that he'd seek to have another go at these

Now some would say that of course its fairly obvious why the pap fest has been called in Paris at this particular time -
those cruel and fatnjellus people would claim that as the Panty Mantis was noticeable only by her absence at the MET do in New York, it stands to reason that some serious distraction was in order to deflect attention from her lack of invite... and of course the cruelest amongst them could point out his lack of bother about her recent birthday (dust cloud or no dust cloud, that was one hell of a lot of luggage or a brief sojourn....)

But not me! I'm a nice fat'n'jellus girl...I'm sure she was working in Paris... no really .... (after all she was probably the only sooopa model left in paris after the rest of them had jetted off to the Met gala...) sorry, that just slipped out

And I get my rewards for being so understanding! With, no doubt, EVEN more pap sessions in various European capitals.... dressing like hobo's, proving the love and living the life...

Three cheers for blimmin awful set ups and their second takes!!

Attention: Normal Service Resumes....

Damn... Orlando is in a bad way in these shots, it appears his ruse to avoid the panty mantis by milking the volcano has failed... and he's in a bad way!

Admittedly he looks a bit like a hobo, but thats no excuse for cruelty. Not only has she has probably locked his cousin and his dog away in a dark dungeon somewhere (never to see the light of day again I'll bet) but she has been photographed looking as if she is torturing poor Orlando. Look at the way she is holding his head, the agony on his face, my heart goes out to him.

I'm sorry the above photo may be painful to watch to some of the more squeamish amongst you, but its important that you are aware of the serious harm that can be inflicted by all breeds of panty mantis (though admittedly the australian variety is particularly dangerous)

I shall shortly be posting a link so that we can all sign the "free Orlando" petition in the hope of getting the British government (whoever they may be at the time) to put pressure on an international scale for the release of Orlando from such inhumane conditions.....

(Ok obviously this is not torture in the old skool sense of the word, though i still reckon one could argue for mental torture....poor b*stard - everytime he gets some time away from his pap mates, he is made to pay the minute are ageing mantis is back in town - one might almost think it was a publicity stunt...)