Really really exciting news this morning - Now, I hope you will forgive me for keeping this one hush hush, but all of us fat'n'jellus ones that were involved had to sign disclosure contracts and I've not been able to share this one with you till now..
A select few of the fattest and most jellus people from amongst our numbers were contacted by Mika's management to take part in his video of Big Girl (You are beautiful)! and *drum Roll* here it is...
I'm the one in the pink - ladies - identify yourselves and take your bow!
(And thanks to J for the suggestion!)
Saturday, 29 January 2011
Friday, 28 January 2011
And now for something completely different.
Nothing to do with either of our favourite couple, but it made me laugh.... a lot!
A Model Life
Relax! As If I'd post pictures of the Panty Mantis here!! Besides, she's too busy a) writing her contribution to the first chapter of Fat and Happy: A Practical Guide to Household Management and b) doing the ground work for the coveted Rainbows and Butterflies Mother of the Year award...
Wednesday, 26 January 2011
A New Proposal...
I had a bit of time so I thought Id trawl around for something mildly entertaining to make the corner stone of a post....
I had a look at the latest shots of OB (on a bike.... surpringly) talking to a guy in a SUV - but ended up concluding that there are two many posts about OB on a bike in the world already without me adding to them...
I bravely ventured over to Mantis Central to find some inspiration and although there was plenty of material there (lets face it, whenever she opens her mouth she seems to manage to fuel the sarcastic subculture thats grown up around her) but still nothing made me think ah ha! (I even ignored the statement by mummy mantis that her daughter is the most natural creature in the world!)
Just as I was giving up, I checked my email and what did I see?
"HIghe slapperr!,
eye knowe we haventte seene aie to aie butte eye desper..dezper....umme eye neede youre helpe! thinges arre goinge verry wronge! Eye thoughte whenne eye hadde babeye Finne thayte eyede bee the moste lovede (ande moste gawguss supamodelle )inne the lande withe cutte lyttle babey as the besteste acessorrie, butte eye nowe see thayte Orlandoe hasse stoleene mye idear.
The photoes offe mee ahvve beene takenne ovah bye thosee onnes thayt orlandoe hadde donee withe mye mum, everyeonne isse nowe sayinge that he is cutte withe finne ande ignoringe me! Eye cannte take itte - iffe eye Takke alle mye clothese offe (asse I ususalley woulde do ) people saye thayte ittes notte seksy! whatte du theye meane - NOTTE SEKSY!!!
ORlandoe thynkes thisse iss verye funnie annde hese notte even respondinge too the balle clamper anie more....
evenne yew fatte and jellus cowz lyked himme with Finne! Eye donte thynke anyonne cares aboutte me anie more :( thys wassnt howwe eye plannede itte!
Yew muste bee wonderinge howe yew canne helpe? welle, eye seeyew arre planninge to wryte a new booke and eye amme gener.... gener... fuk.... offeringe to wryte somme bittes for yew - obviouslie peoplee wonte lyke yourre bits, butte eyem feelinge lonlie and eye thynke itte woulde be goode to do thisse rightte nowe. (Plusse eye dontee see either finne or ORlandoe unless nappyies needed changinge or eye neede to gette mye boobies outte)
I knoew yew muste be overcomme with joye atte readinge this, so eye'll givee yew somme timme to calme downe beforre wee starte!
Lvoeee Pantty mantiz XXX
So what do you reckon ye Fat n Jellus? - I reckon this one has got to be some sort of goer - just the opportunity alone to hear the PM's suggestions for household management seem worth it to me on their own... and of course I will make sure I keep the final editorial rights!
I had a look at the latest shots of OB (on a bike.... surpringly) talking to a guy in a SUV - but ended up concluding that there are two many posts about OB on a bike in the world already without me adding to them...
I bravely ventured over to Mantis Central to find some inspiration and although there was plenty of material there (lets face it, whenever she opens her mouth she seems to manage to fuel the sarcastic subculture thats grown up around her) but still nothing made me think ah ha! (I even ignored the statement by mummy mantis that her daughter is the most natural creature in the world!)
Just as I was giving up, I checked my email and what did I see?
"HIghe slapperr!,
eye knowe we haventte seene aie to aie butte eye desper..dezper....umme eye neede youre helpe! thinges arre goinge verry wronge! Eye thoughte whenne eye hadde babeye Finne thayte eyede bee the moste lovede (ande moste gawguss supamodelle )inne the lande withe cutte lyttle babey as the besteste acessorrie, butte eye nowe see thayte Orlandoe hasse stoleene mye idear.
The photoes offe mee ahvve beene takenne ovah bye thosee onnes thayt orlandoe hadde donee withe mye mum, everyeonne isse nowe sayinge that he is cutte withe finne ande ignoringe me! Eye cannte take itte - iffe eye Takke alle mye clothese offe (asse I ususalley woulde do ) people saye thayte ittes notte seksy! whatte du theye meane - NOTTE SEKSY!!!
ORlandoe thynkes thisse iss verye funnie annde hese notte even respondinge too the balle clamper anie more....
evenne yew fatte and jellus cowz lyked himme with Finne! Eye donte thynke anyonne cares aboutte me anie more :( thys wassnt howwe eye plannede itte!
Yew muste bee wonderinge howe yew canne helpe? welle, eye seeyew arre planninge to wryte a new booke and eye amme gener.... gener... fuk.... offeringe to wryte somme bittes for yew - obviouslie peoplee wonte lyke yourre bits, butte eyem feelinge lonlie and eye thynke itte woulde be goode to do thisse rightte nowe. (Plusse eye dontee see either finne or ORlandoe unless nappyies needed changinge or eye neede to gette mye boobies outte)
I knoew yew muste be overcomme with joye atte readinge this, so eye'll givee yew somme timme to calme downe beforre wee starte!
Lvoeee Pantty mantiz XXX
So what do you reckon ye Fat n Jellus? - I reckon this one has got to be some sort of goer - just the opportunity alone to hear the PM's suggestions for household management seem worth it to me on their own... and of course I will make sure I keep the final editorial rights!
Monday, 24 January 2011
Awwww!
I really dont agree with little babies getting papped - I cant believe something this young would be hunting out a public profile if it was able to let its parents know what it wants.. but I couldnt quite resist this!
but look at that smile!
but look at that smile!
Saturday, 22 January 2011
Eau de Bloom
I really wasnt going to post up an offering today - I've successfully managed to tune out the endless witterings of the Panty Mantis to little more than the annoying whine of a very small mosquito - but then I came across this.....
It was an article in a beauty magazine about Orlando's decision to become the face of Boss Orange - I wont take you through the entire interview its posted herebut a few points within it made me giggle.....
“Because that’s the way I am,” said Bloom. “I don’t spend a lot of time froufrou-ing myself.”
In fact, until his wife, Miranda Kerr, began her Kora organic skin care line, Bloom used only a body cream and admitted, “I used it everywhere.”
Oh dear Orlando, he's said that in the open, the PM's so going to read this and punish him for not making it clearer that while he might of "used" to be a non-Froufrou boy, he should of said that he has access to the bestte skyne cayre linne inne the worde eva, and that he spends 99% of his day applying face creams, eye creams and body cream everywhere...
I hope he doesnt suffer too much for that one! A little later on he says this:
So now that he’s been initiated into the world of scent, would Bloom consider doing a signature fragrance line?
“It hasn’t really crossed my mind,” he said, adding: “Never say never to anything, you know.”
Eau de Bloom........ I'm really not quite sure what to make of that....
Fat'n'Jellus..... Over to you!
It was an article in a beauty magazine about Orlando's decision to become the face of Boss Orange - I wont take you through the entire interview its posted herebut a few points within it made me giggle.....
“Because that’s the way I am,” said Bloom. “I don’t spend a lot of time froufrou-ing myself.”
In fact, until his wife, Miranda Kerr, began her Kora organic skin care line, Bloom used only a body cream and admitted, “I used it everywhere.”
Oh dear Orlando, he's said that in the open, the PM's so going to read this and punish him for not making it clearer that while he might of "used" to be a non-Froufrou boy, he should of said that he has access to the bestte skyne cayre linne inne the worde eva, and that he spends 99% of his day applying face creams, eye creams and body cream everywhere...
I hope he doesnt suffer too much for that one! A little later on he says this:
So now that he’s been initiated into the world of scent, would Bloom consider doing a signature fragrance line?
“It hasn’t really crossed my mind,” he said, adding: “Never say never to anything, you know.”
Eau de Bloom........ I'm really not quite sure what to make of that....
Fat'n'Jellus..... Over to you!
Friday, 21 January 2011
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