Privacy Personified

I have to say Im almost feeling sorry for the Panty Mantis, the regularity with which her privacy gets invaded enjoying some quiet time with her son is so frequent its Obscene!

So you can imagine my horror to see those evul buggers at Now magazine have managed to get yet another shot of her and invaded her privacy once again... poor girl, if only they would all leave her alone....

Still she can take heart, look at all those other Celeb mums who are also suffering the same torture.....

PS Panty Mantis, if you need me to slowly go through the difference between a tablespoon and a teaspoon, I know we've had our differences, but Im here for you!

Things that make you smile

Obviously only if you are a fat and jelluz cow... but as I so definitely am, It made me smile to see how that the Panty Mantis is back to looking so beeautifulle and seksy in Wellington....

Date Night!

You will notice Ive maintained a discrete silence as photos of the Panty Mantis and Flynkerr abound over the net. But these photos are deserve a brief mention I feel (from her apparently romantic "date" night)

During Dinner the PM takes an important phone call and strategically provides a visual demonstration of the challenge of stringing a coherent sentence together:



When it comes to bill time she reinforces; rightly deciding that pulling a face that says " I couldnt even read the bill if you gave it to me, never mind pay it" will pull her neatly out of the driving seat:



Well played PM, If only i was even the tiniest bit convinced this was all an act and not just your natural facial expressions when presented with the challenges of everyday life.....

"Im on a Horse!"

Look at the sheer genius of this particular pose - what on earth is the panty mantis trying to achieve with this one? Has someone suggested that she and the horse have a chocolate star fish revealing competition? has the director of the shoot put "club tropicana" in an attempt to get the PM moving naturally for once?

I think that one beats the hooved shot from my last post..

News? well as you can imagine the Panty Mantis' triumphant return is being documented in minute detail to her enthralled public: From being mobbed at the air port (yeah ... i know) to an exclusive interview in her sydney home - its all there fatties for your reading and viewing pleasure...

The exclusive interview was particularly fine in my view, not only did the PM apparently cook dinner (and eat it all) for the lucky journalist, she didnt miss the opportunity to pimp Whora as the answer to stretch marks.... well that and apparently good genes....

Ive got a much simpler solution for you PM - if you're a fat n jellus person - you're so fat no-body notices any stretch marks you might get, they simply disappear under the corpulent mass that is your body...

The hallowed day

yes yes fatties, its arrived!

The Panty Mantis is back in Oz, all those weeks of reliving the last 4 years of her life over and over and over again to pump up the buzz is finally over and the "the most gawguss supamodel in the land" is back on home ground.

Ok so thats the hot news.. now onto more practical matters...

please can someone explain this as a modelling pose:


I keep looking at while Im eating my tub of lard and just not getting it... Its probably because Im fat n jellus and not lyving the lyfe but I suspect there is an outside chance THIS is not something any other model thinks of as a good plan in front of a camera....

But its good to see the cloven hooves are back again :)

Over-enthusiastic

and there was I quietly worrying that my enthusiasm for snarking (particularly, of course, the panty mantis) was a little OTT

(as with my love of lard , all things fat, specially adapted household furniture, being jellus etc etc but you know that)

well, fellow fatties, panic not! This below is the definition of over-enthusiasm on a particular subject




there - do you all feel relieved?

in other hideously boring news, the PM is resharing the tales of her 27 Year labour, the fact that she didnt really want Orlando anyway and her white ball of light to anyone that will listen...

I do love it when she goes home.......

PAIN!

You see, THIS is what happens to a person when they choose to let one of the hallowed interviews from the Panty Mantis pass them by...

she releases two in one day!

ok ok , i submit Panty Mantis, there is only so much a (non-super) woman can take...


So, to the second offering of today, courtesy of the Daily Mail:

According to them the Panty Mantis found the birth of Flynkerr so painful she had an out of body experience....... its funny I thought they more normally referred to that as anaesthetic.....

Ooooh yes! silly me! I keep forgetting the poor stick insect gave birth 100% naturally, with no drugs whatsoever and only her husband peeing in a bottle for solace as opposed to taking what seems the more obvious choice.... a C section!

Now can someone please tell me WHY WE ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS..... please....